This Mom Freaking Out Over Her Dairy-Free Nursing Diet Has Us Rolling with Laughter

We moms will do just about anything for our children, including changing our diets to keep them healthy and safe. While gestating our little loves, many of us have to give up our favorite foods (goodbye wine and sushi!). It totally sucks, but we do it because our kids’ health and well being is more important than anything else.

If we choose to breastfeed our kids, we can generally go back to eating and drinking whatever we like (even wine and coffee are fine, in moderation). But sometimes our little one reacts to something we are eating — most likely one of the common allergens that babies can be sensitive to in their early months, like dairy or soy.

And when that happens, well, it’s no fun at all (cue screaming baby who passes momentous amounts of gas, spits up like a firehose, has unsightly rashes, and cries on end for hours.) Trust me: I’ve been there, and when you have a baby with an allergy or sensitivity, you will do whatever you can to rectify that, even if that means totally eliminating the culprit that is making your baby miserable.

Yup, sometimes a breastfeeding mom needs to cut something as common and delicious as dairy from her diet. And she does it because it’s what’s best for her baby. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t absolutely stink.

The struggle is real when you have to give up a favorite food — especially one that is creamy, delectable, and in basically everything. And in a hilarious and totally relatable viral video, one blogger mom who had to go dairy-free nails just how freaking annoying this can be.

Esther Anderson is a mom of three and the blogger behind the popular Facebook page, Story of This Life. Anderson recently found out that her baby Aubrey, has a milk allergy, which means that Anderson needs cut out all dairy from her own diet.

Every. Last. Ounce. As you can imagine, it totally sucks for her, and what makes the video so dang relatable is that Anderson does not hold back on letting us know. Not one bit.

“Can we just talk about cows for a second?” Anderson says, as she begins her rant. “And how much we love them? How much we appreciate them, and the delicious milk that they make?”

Ice cream! Cheese! Cream in our coffee! These are basic dietary staples that many of us can’t imagine living without. And Anderson feels the same exact way.

“I’m having a little bit of a heart attack right now,” she admits. “I’m grieving the loss of every delicious food in my life, pretty much.”

Next, Anderson takes out a pamphlet that explains her new dietary guidelines. First she looks at the list of “nos.” Donuts are on there (who knew most donuts had dairy in them?!). And of course, half-and-half, which Anderson has some strong feelings about.

“Can’t have half-and-half,” Anderson says. “Well, I don’t use half-and-half in my coffee. Do you know what I use? Whipping cream.”

Hell to the yes. All sleep-deprived mamas of newborns deserve gallons of coffee, replete with truckloads of full-fat whipping cream!

But what happens when you can’t have that? Anderson points to the list of substitutes that are suggested to her on the pamphlet. Almond milk is on there, and Anderson, of course, has some thoughts about that one too.

“Let’s talk about almond milk for a second,” she says, making an I’m-about-barf-face. “How are we making milk out of nuts?”

We feel you, mama. We really do.

Anderson points out that milk chocolate is on the “no” list, and although dark chocolate is suggested, she’ll need to take a hard pass on that. Other foods that are on the “yes” list are even less appetizing than dark chocolate. Canned salmon and sardines are recommended … BARF.

And for some weird reason, Anderson’s dairy-free guidelines suggest dining on dandelions as a substitute, which is as random and strange as it gets.

“Dandelion. Did you know you could eat dandelion? It’s on here,” she says, holding up the pamphlet and pointing it out for all to see.

Of course, as bonkers as this whole thing seems to Anderson (and most moms who suddenly learn that they have to be dairy-free), she’s going to get through it. Because as maddening and difficult as certain aspects of parenting are, we moms do what we need to do for our kiddos.

“I need some sort of therapy, or a counselor to sit down with me and go through emotions and feelings,” Anderson shares. “But I’m gonna go look at my cute little baby, because whenever I look at her — it’s worth it.”

It so is. And the good news is that Anderson will definitely be able to get her ice cream and whipped cream fix again soon. Babies are only babies for so long. And while the days are long, the years — yes, even the dairy-free ones — are short.

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