5th Grader Writes an Epic List of Rules for the Boy Who Has a Crush on Her

We want to empower girls, right? Teach them to take control of what they want, and what they don’t want. To never be afraid to stand up for themselves. Well, we can all learn a lesson from this awesome fifth grader named Zoë.

On Thursday, ‏@WhosDenverJones tweeted a photo of the “Rules and Regulations” that Zoë set for Noah, who apparently has a crush on her. Her strict (but hilarious) set of rules has quickly gone viral, with over 6k retweets and almost 10k likes … and the rules are just too funny.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

“1. Do not touch my shoulder.”

Very straight forward. It seems like she’s had to mention this to him before. Noah, the shoulder is off. limits.

“2. Do not get behind me with all that playing and foolishness. (Don’t get behind me at all).”

Zoë seems like a very no-nonsense kind of girl. She does not have time for shenanigans of any kind. Take note, boys.

“3. Do not speak to me unless its [sic] a greeting, which will be never”

This one is a little confusing, but I think Noah should interpret it as don’t talk to Zoë unless she talks first. Or, only “hi” is okay. The jury is still out on that one.

“4. Stop playing with me on the bus”

Clearly the bus ride is a time for Zoë to catch up with other friends, or sit by herself, and that’s perfectly fine. She’s not in the mood for playing, Noah. Save it for later.

“5. I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play [too] much”

I’m right there with you, Zoë. I definitely only have so much patience with people who are bugging me. It’s a very fine line to walk, Noah, but I think the message is that when Zoë is done or doesn’t want to play, don’t push it. And that’s definitely a valuable lesson.

“6. Reread 500 times”

Memorize this, Noah, and you might have a shot with Zoë.

And one more rule that Zoë added … and it might be the most important one:

“7. You like me (as a girlfriend) but I don’t like you I’m [too] young! (as a boyfriend)”

In case you haven’t gotten the idea yet, Noah, Zoë says that she just wants to be friends. If you can play by these rules, she would love to be friends with you. If not, well, just read the rest of the note and you’ll see that she really isn’t messing around.

On a more serious note, I think it’s amazing that Zoë sat down and thought about what she does and doesn’t want Noah to do. And while we don’t know the backstory to this note — maybe she and Noah were fighting at school and the teacher asked her to write down exactly what he’s doing that’s bothering her — it’s great to see the topic of consent being discussed at such a young age. Personally, I think this looks like a fantastic way to get children to explain their feelings and learn that it’s good to set boundaries and communicate them to others.

You go, Zoë!

h/t: Mashable

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