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Friends Don’t Lock Friends in Washing Machines — and 4 Other Things Kids (Apparently) Have to Be Taught

washing machineWhen you become a parent, there are certain roles you know you’ll assume at the outset: Butt wiper, lunch-maker, monster-in-the-closet wrangler, tear dryer, time-out giver, carpooler, and boo-boo kisser are chief among them.

Other roles, however, are not as intuitive. Yes, the most vital goal of a parent is to keep the child alive. But it might not occur to you to keep your child from preventing another child from living. For instance, did you know you need to tell your kid not to lock another child in a washing machine?

A 5-year-old girl in Pasadena, Texas, got trapped in a washing machine recently after her friend accidentally locked the door on her. According to USA Today, the machine, located in a laundromat, was supposedly out of order when the kids figured it was fair game to play in. Somehow, the rinse cycle started but thankfully an employee cut the breaker to shut it down soon therefore — although not before the girl “spun around for several minutes, at a high speed, tumbling pretty fast.”

It’s easily not the first time a child and a washing machine have interacted treacherously, although it should have been the first, and it should definitely be the last time it happens. Because parents should tell their kids a washing machine — broken or otherwise — is only for dirty clothes, not kids.

While we’re at it, here are four other lessons for kids that you’d think they already know, but just in case:

peas
Note: Best when eaten, not snorted.

1. Your Nose and Mouth Serve Different Purposes.

While located suspiciously close to one another, a nose isn’t to be mistaken for a mouth. And vice versa. A pea, for example, will not get stuck in your mouth. It will, however, get stubbornly jammed in your nostril — and you will not be happy with the method by which it will need to be extracted. And if something on the ground doesn’t smell good, trust your nose and don’t stick it in your mouth.

Yes, I know it fits in the toilet. But that doesn't mean it belongs.
Yes, I know it fits in the toilet. But that doesn’t mean it belongs there.

2. Not All Brushes are Created Equal.

The toothbrush is for your teeth, the hairbrush is for your hair, the toilet brush is for the toilet. These are not mix-and-match items. This is non-negotiable.

bubbles
It’d be so much easier than a cayenne pepper/lemon/honey cleanse, wouldn’t it? Alas.

3. Drinking Bath Water or Bubbles Will Not Clean Your Insides.

I can see why you’d think that, but trust me on this one.

dog
Pink is a pretty color, but that doesn’t make it clean.

4. Dogs Lick People, People Don’t Lick Dogs.

Another one of those things that might seem interchangeable, but just isn’t. (As for why we let dogs lick us — considering where else those tongues have been besides their mouth — is a whole other story).

All photos via Wikipedia

 

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