If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters? Not us. So here you go, the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #yourewelcome
1. Then it’s our time to shine.
I'll do anything for my kids unless it's physically impossible, like letting them win in Dance, Dance Revolution.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 9, 2017
5yo: "You're just making that up."
Me: "Everyone's making everything up."
5yo: "Are you trying to blow my mind?"
— Amy Shearn (@amyshearn) January 8, 2017
3. Ah, the good old days.
Sometimes I miss those pre-kid days with my spouse. When we could fight without whispers and glares and use better cuss words.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 13, 2017
4. That’s gotta hurt.
4: Dad, you're not the best dad in the world now.
Me: huh? why?
4: don't cry ok?
Me: fine, but why?
4: my friend's dad runs a bouncy castle.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) January 10, 2017
5. Home is not as comforting as you may think.
*being shown new desk*
Boss: make yourself at home
*remembers how home looks with kids*
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) January 9, 2017
6. We don’t think you really mean it.
– how I respond to my kids 90% of the time
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) January 8, 2017
7. It’s uncanny.
Me: *stares at wall for an hour*
Kids: *play quietly by themselves*
Me: *starts doing literally anything*
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) January 10, 2017
8. Funny how that works.
Me: Time for bed
7: I'm not tired
M: Brush your teeth first
7: I'm too tired
— Meh To Cheeto Head (@TheAlexNevil) January 13, 2017
9. Because we do cry over spilled milk.
I spent the past 45 minutes moving my kids cup off of the ledge over & over just in case you're wondering how exciting it is to have kids.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) January 6, 2017
10. We’ll try.
Have the confidence of a naked toddler wearing a t-shirt on his head.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 11, 2017
11. They must have a sixth sense about these things.
*makes sure kids are asleep*
*walks out to car*
*slowly unwraps candy bar*
*hears knock on window*
*puts head down*
*hands it to them*
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 13, 2017
12. Pretty much.
Grocery shopping with kids is just saying "put that back!" every 30 seconds until everyone is crying.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) January 13, 2017
13. Staying up late is just too tempting.
Parent pro tip: If the school calls a snow day the night before, don't open your big mouth.
I'm stuck in a never-ending game of Monopoly.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) January 13, 2017
14. Thank God.
And on the 7th day God rested, but the children did not rest. So on Monday God made school and He sent the kids and all the people rejoiced.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) January 9, 2017
15. No wonder our days feel so long.
A dog year is equal to 7 people years just as a parent year is equal to 7 non-parent years.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 12, 2017