If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 280 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome
1. Master of communication.
Parenting has taught me I can have an entire conversation with someone without having any idea what the other person is taking about
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 6, 2018
2. The struggle.
“I once had a tag in my shirt, so yeah, I know a thing or two about overcoming adversity.”
-Toddler scholarship application
— The Mom at Law (@TheMomAtLaw) February 4, 2018
3. The waiting is the hardest part.
No one tells you how much of parenting is just sitting in the car in a parking lot.
— Northern Lights 🦖 (@PinkCamoTO) February 7, 2018
4. We are in big trouble.
Pregnancy feels like a Saturday detention that never ends.
— Jackie Hill Perry (@JackieHillPerry) February 6, 2018
5. That would literally stink.
If you find me dead for no other obvious reason, I think it would be safe to assume it was laundry.
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) February 6, 2018
6. Our worst nightmare.
[toddler has a bad dream and crawls into bed]
ME: well, at least it's cute they want to cudd-
[foot in ribs]
[foot on neck]
[foot in eye]
ME: how many feet do you h-
[foot in mouth]
— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) February 5, 2018
7. Because they’re JUST SO CUTE.
This baby is sucking the life from me. Drinking my water, making me dry. Eating my food, making me hungry. Taking my health, making me sick. Why do we create these monsters they want us dead
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 3, 2018
8. Smarty pants.
10yo: These pants don't fit anymore! They won't even pull past my legs!
Husband: *looks at pants* …. you should try unbuttoning them first.
My legacy, ladies and gentlemen.
— Jenny Schoberl (@holdin_holden) February 6, 2018
9. Switching things up.
I turned on the light to wake up my kids.
My 2-year-old turned it off and went back to bed.
She used to be the family alarm clock. Now she's the snooze button.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2018
10. It’s all part of the plan.
I read that 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February.
Girl Scout cookie season started January 27th this year.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
— InsoMOMMYac (@mom_toddler) February 5, 2018
11. Then parenting’s for you!
<Commercial for Parenting>
Have you ever wanted to say “Mommy can’t look right now; she’s driving” 426 times during your commute?
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) February 7, 2018
12. Tight squeeze.
My kids have more toothpaste on their bathroom counter than I’ve used on my teeth in two years.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 6, 2018
13. Parent. Sleep. Repeat.
People who are good at parenting are the same people who wouldn't be at all frustrated if they were the main character in Groundhog Day.
— 5 Kids 1 Condo (@5kids1condo) February 6, 2018
14. There is no in between.
What I love most about my kids being in sports is how an active lifestyle is their norm and also how I never know whether we’ll be eating dinner at 3:45pm or a quarter to midnight.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 6, 2018
15. They don’t call him Father Time for nothin’.
If you’ve never moved the clocks forward in your house to expedite “bed time” are you even parenting to your best ability?
— Manda Panda Xo (@MandaPandaXo4) February 5, 2018
16. Let’s talk in 18 years.
Parenthood is where conversations go to die.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) February 4, 2018
17. Toddler wisdom.
— Ariana Howard (@arianakimball) February 7, 2018
18. “The snack that smiles back.”
— Sabrina Smith (@Sassy_mom_17) February 7, 2018
19. Better with age.
My toddlers look at old Cheerios like they're a fine wine.
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) February 7, 2018