If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 280 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome
1. Good to know.
"If I had a twin, maybe he would be the nice one"
– 3 year old#momlife
— Total Mom Life (@TotalMomLife) February 13, 2018
2. It’s only fair.
— Lindsey Silver (@EvenTheDogsABoy) February 13, 2018
Shaun White won his 3rd gold Olympic medal, and I know how he must feel because I just switched the laundry from the washer to the dryer in the same day-ish.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) February 14, 2018
4. Mad dad.
I'm 35 with 4 kids, you know what that means? My hobby is complaining about the lights, open fridge door and running water… #DadLife
— d$.js (@dmikeyanderson) February 12, 2018
5. Potty humor.
Why is my sock wet? – A guide to potty training. #parenting
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) February 11, 2018
6. It’s only time.
Whomever dubbed the three-toed sloth the slowest mammal in the world, obviously hasn't met my five-toed child.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 11, 2018
7. We have questions.
I love that my kids love Paw Patrol… but as an adult I can’t help but wonder how much it would cost to fund the whole operation. AND who would put a kid in charge??!!
— James Kelly (@JamesPopsKelly) February 14, 2018
8. The more you know.
Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.
— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) February 11, 2018
9. (And 10 percent heavy sighs.)
I’ve come to the conclusion that parenting is 90% Screaming at your kids to stop screaming at each other
— Jason Hawes (@Jchawes) February 11, 2018
10. Second to none.
I better hang up some photos of my second child before she grows up and notices.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) February 13, 2018
11. The truth hurts.
7YO: “Are you good at throwing and catching?”
ME: “Nope! Not at all!”
7YO: “Oh… well that’s ok, you just need some practice.”
*5 minutes of practice*
7YO: “Wow, you are really not good at this.”
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) February 13, 2018
12. Same thing?
FRIEND: I hate when people refer to their pets as children.
ME: You do that all the time with your dog.
FRIEND: I don’t have a dog.
FRIEND: Are you referring to my toddler?
— The Bronte Pale Space Rider (@truegritrumble) February 13, 2018
13. It was the worst of times …
*sitting down at restaurant
7YO:[holding iPod] What’s the WiFi password here?
12YO: There is no WiFi here.
12YO: We have to talk, just like they did in the 1900’s.
— TonyL (@creativeTypeDad) February 12, 2018
14. You might as well know now.
With your first kid you make a lot of mistakes, but by the time you have your 2nd kid you will totally still make a lot of mistakes.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) February 12, 2018
15. Paula Deen approved.
Just caught my 3yo eating a stick of butter so I guess he's a man now.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 12, 2018
16. The love is contagious.
So the first 5 months of fatherhood have been great, my little daughter is so amazing & I adore her: but I am very tired. I also seem to have had a continuous heavy cold since she was born. Fatherhood, it's like joyous flu. #dadlife
— James Miller (@jmlostboys) February 13, 2018
17. Gold star parenting.
[At parent teacher conference]
Teacher: She's really doing great. Keep doing whatever you're doing.
Me, internally: So, chicken nuggets, unlimited screen time, and constantly doubting myself? Done.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) February 13, 2018