If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters? Not us. So here you go, the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #yourewelcome
Of course I want you to do well in school! Just not so well that I have to attend a 2 hour honor roll assembly.
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) February 16, 2017
2. Decisions, decisions.
My 4 year old can't decide which shoes to wear today. But he's already committed to what he wants to be for Halloween in 8 months.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) February 16, 2017
3. Must’ve been the life.
I wonder what Moms did before Pinterest?
*imagines Moms everywhere napping & day drinking instead of screaming at failed Minion cupcakes.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) February 15, 2017
[trying to stop my toddler's tantrum in a restaurant]
*harsh whisper* If you don't cut it out right now then there's nothing else I can do
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 11, 2017
5. Time to get to work.
My favorite part of parenting is putting a child to bed and she says, "Oh yeah, I need a zebra outfit for school tomorrow."
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) February 17, 2017
6. That could be dangerous.
My husband would rather come home to find me with another man than with a West Elm catalogue and the measuring tape.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) February 16, 2017
If you want to impress a 6 year old I recommend you perform the "YMCA." If only my high school theatre teacher could see me now. #momlife
— Ashley Archibald (@ash_archi) February 17, 2017
8. Been there.
If you've never seen someone take off his pants and attack you with them, then you've never met my 7yo.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 13, 2017
9. Please and thank you.
"Help me. Help you."
I say to my 5yo as he flops around while I'm getting him dressed.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) February 13, 2017
10. Life lessons.
Me to my kids: You guys could really learn a lot from your baby brother.
7 year old: He doesn't talk.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 14, 2017
11. Good to know.
My kids have taught me that you don't have to be a waiter to wander around from table to table asking strangers, "How's everything tasting?"
— Off The Record… (@snotnboogers23) February 16, 2017
12. Kids are so annoyingly cute.
Me: Why aren't you dressed?
Me: Where are your clothes?
3yo: I'm wearing a smile!
Me: Adorable. But not in public.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 17, 2017
13. Is your head spinning, yet?
9yo: I don't like this mac and cheese.
Me: You don't?
9: Well, I do-don't.
Me: So you do?
9: I do like it, but halvsies.
Me: [head explodes]
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 12, 2017
14. #MomLife at its finest.
Accidentally threw away some of my 5yo's artwork & blamed her brother when she saw it in the trash. That's called thinking on your feet.
— CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) February 10, 2017
15. Bon appétit!
What kind of a cook am I?
Well the smoke detector sounded and one of the boys yelled, "Dinner's ready!" to the rest of the family. #skillz
— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) February 16, 2017