If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters? Not us. So here you go, the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #yourewelcome
1. Ah, family time.
Vacations with kids are fun cuz you get to spend a fortune to hear about their boredom.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) February 15, 2016
2. No pity.
Whenever my kids complain about going back to school I always say, "Geez that sucks. I never have to go back to school."
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 15, 2016
3. Such a world exists?
Breaks out into song & dance because kids can finally get their own snacks AND sign into Netflix without any help
— Suburbia_Mommy (@runner_mom2) February 16, 2016
4. Damn song, gets us every time.
10yo doing homework: "Dad, can you help me real quick?"
Me: "Gimme one second."
14yo walks by: "Cat's in the cradle & the silver spoon…"
— Travis Bone (@FinallyHeSleeps) February 14, 2016
5. He’s grown wise in his old age.
"Ugh. Little kids fight so easily…"
– my 9yo son watching a group of kindergarteners.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) February 16, 2016
6. Risky move …
Living on the edge as a parent means trying to sneak cookies while your kids are still awake.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) February 16, 2016
7. Like Pinocchio, but with pants.
Every time you yell "because I said so, that's why" the waist on your mom jeans moves up an inch.
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) February 13, 2016
8. Kids and dogs are different, guys.
Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) February 16, 2016
9. Hmm, but it should …
7: Mom, can I have a five dollar bill, and a one dollar bill for Presidents' Day?
Me: Yeh, no. That's not how this holiday works.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 13, 2016
10. Pull yourself together, parents.
*6 wakes us unreasonably early
"Do you guys think I don't have school today cuz I do and I'm huuungry."
Get him for a good price–act now.
— Meh Maketh Man (@TheAlexNevil) February 17, 2016
11. Be warned.
4yo: If you eat too much fun dip you'll end up taking off all of your clothes and running around the house naked.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) February 16, 2016
12. Take your “me time” where you can get it.
Those 5 mins before the kids wake up is what I refer to as "Hold my pee so I can see what celebrities did while I was sleeping" time of day.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 16, 2016
13. We won’t tell.
Sometimes when my kids call my name, I silently turn of the light and hide behind the couch.
— Stacey Gill (@OneFunnyMotha) February 17, 2016
14. Love that motto.
If at first you don't succeed (in getting your family out of bed), try, try again (this time with a few of the kids' musical instruments).
— Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) February 16, 2016
15. So maybe in a month, then.
Oooh I'd LOVE to schedule some "me time" I just have to clear it with about 72 people first.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) February 17, 2016
Can’t get enough of these funny tweets? Read our #FunnyParents archive here!