If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters? Not us. So here you go, the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #yourewelcome
1. Doesn’t seem fair.
Toddler started demanding privacy when he's in the restroom & I have no idea where he learned this from. I always have an audience #momlife
— Tangry Mom (@TangryMom) June 14, 2016
2. So close.
"Mom! I can hold my breath for 18 seconds! I'm only 12 minutes away from the world record!!!"
Keep the dream alive, bud.
— Stuff of Wife (@2adults4kids) June 13, 2016
Only made it through half my coffee before kids woke up. So I'm only going to half parent today.
— Missy Collingsworth (@SurvivingMyBoys) June 15, 2016
4. Insanity level: reached.
Parenting math, newborn edition:
Number of days old (infant) ÷ number of times showered (mom) = approximate level of insanity (whole house)
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) June 11, 2016
5. It’s the weather’s fault.
*feels 6-year-old's fevered forehead*
Me: Aw, you're a little under the weather.
6: I want the weather to. GET. OFF. ME!
— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) June 12, 2016
6. Greedy little buggers.
I haven't even had lunch yet but by all means offspring, tell me what you'd like for a snack after your second lunch.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) June 15, 2016
7. Every mom for herself.
*Only looking at your own kid.*
"This group shot of the kids is great."
— Mommy_Owl (@Lhlodder) June 12, 2016
8. That’s the way to get what you want.
Son, 15: How old are you again?
Me [hesitating]: 47
15: Wow. I thought you were, like, 30.
So I bought him a new BMW
— EricaTriesToTweet (@SteussieErica) June 12, 2016
9. Come back when the kids turn 6.
Can't. Have to spend all day putting on and removing my kids' rain gear since they can't decide if they want to play inside or out.
— Who Pooped The Tub? (@whopoopedthetub) June 13, 2016
10. Cheese solves everything.
5yo and her friend just ended an argument by deciding they would "have a piece of cheese and calm down"
So, yeah, she's mine.
— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) June 14, 2016
11. But grosser.
While driving today, 10 says "Here, Mom. Take this scab I just picked off my knee." This is the parental equivalent of texting & driving.
— Rule Of Mum (@ruleofmum) June 11, 2016
12. Makes sense.
My kid won't eat strawberries, but he sure will go to town on a brown crayon.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) June 15, 2016
13. How romantic.
"Let's run away for the night and get away from the kids so we can talk about them all evening." – parents on a date
— Alison Tedford (@alliespins) June 13, 2016
14. Burger Happy Meal with a side of fries, please.
My 6yos are practicing ordering McDonald's to each other, so we may eat fast food a little too often.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 14, 2016
15. Positive thinking.
Found a bag of marshmallows emptied on the floor, but that's a lot of sugar that didn't make it to my kids' bodies,so I'm calling this a win
— Jenn Harrell Scott (@Jenn_H_Scott) June 13, 2016
Can’t get enough of these funny tweets? Read our #FunnyParents archive here!