If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome
1. Selective hearing.
Me: I'M TIRED OF YOU GUYS NEVER LISTENING TO ME!
Kids: What'd she say?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 4, 2017
2. Uberesting idea.
My daughter when I encouraged her to learn to ride her bike: “It’s really unnecessary. I can just take an Uber.” What the….what?
— Deanna King (@CynicalMother) October 4, 2017
3. Three’s company.
We know Daddy's out of town, so we all decided to get up at 445am so you wouldn't be lonely.
Love, ALL 3 KIDS#momlife
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) October 4, 2017
4. Common concern.
13 out of 10 parents have difficulty helping their kids with Common Core math homework.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) October 2, 2017
5. Toddler tricks.
Wow, that's the coolest trick I've ever seen.
– Me, to my 3yr old. Watching what is certainly not the coolest trick I've ever seen.
— SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) October 3, 2017
6. Loud and proud.
You can never pretend you’re not home when you have a toddler #momlife
— Alicia (@absolutalicia) October 2, 2017
7. Hope they’re hungry!
Thought everything would be cool if I left them alone for an 8 minute shower. Came out, 5 boxes of cereal mixed into one giant mixing bowl.
— dax shepard (@daxshepard1) September 30, 2017
— Diane Auten (@SurvivingSons) October 4, 2017
9. The story of our lives.
Nancy Drew and the Case of the Pee Puddle in the Bathroom That No One the Family Owned Up to That's Fine Mom Will Just Clean It.#fb
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) September 30, 2017
10. Feeling de-feeted.
90% of being a parent is shouting "PUT YOUR SHOES ON" repeatedly
— Cosmic Carol (@Cosmic_Carol) October 2, 2017
11. Snot cool, Mom.
I wiped my toddler’s nose and now he’s crying because I took his snot.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) October 3, 2017
12. Celebrate us home.
Southwest commercial: *ding* You are now free to move about about the country.
Me: I have 4 kids.
Southwest: *ding* Never mind.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 1, 2017
13. Mommy’s little angels.
— Annie Reneau (@MotherhoodnMore) October 2, 2017
14. Loads of fun.
Sunday is a day of rest.
I'm kidding. Go switch the laundry.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 1, 2017
15. Define “work” …
— Mike Glackin (@_MGlackin) October 1, 2017
16. Every. enchanted. evening.
"Being a parent is magical," I tell myself as I shovel my kid's left over macaroni and cheese into my mouth while standing over the sink.
— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) October 1, 2017
17. Wish you were here!
A vacation is when your kid won't stop telling you about YouTube videos, but in a more exotic place.
— ☠Mommy Cusses☠ (@mommy_cusses) October 2, 2017
18. Not it.
It's easy to know who wins parenting. It's whoever the kids don't call for in the middle of the night.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) October 1, 2017
19. Plucky parenting.
If you ever wondered what it's like parenting girls, I just helped my 9 year old draw her eyebrow back on.
— Daisy Chain (@putyoursisterd1) October 4, 2017