It’s no secret that sleep becomes almost non-existent once babies come into the picture. It’s all anybody ever tells you before you become a parent. Yet, we do it anyway and willingly choose to experience extreme sleep-deprivation firsthand. But the plus side, is that funny parents everywhere can then tweet about it.
1. Productivity at its finest.
Favorite part of my kid's nap is the 45 minutes he spends going, "HEY, I'M DONE WITH MY NAP."
— The Ugly Volvo (@theuglyvolvo) February 9, 2016
"You look tired!"
I have kids.
I'm pretty sure this is just my face now.#LifeOfAMom
— Real Girl (@1RealGirls) May 12, 2016
3. AKA not adult movies.
As a parent in his late 30s, my favorite movies are the ones I can still understand after I've accidentally dozed off for a few minutes.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 25, 2014
4. No. Just, no.
Having a 3yo whisper "the sun is up" when I'm in a dead sleep makes me feel nostalgic about waking up to actual alarm clocks.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) October 18, 2015
5. The footsteps heard around the world.
Ah, the pitter-patter of little feet on a Saturday before 7:00. A sound that unites parents everywhere in profound sadness and intense rage.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) May 14, 2016
6. Just one more question.
We could probably push her a little more before she completely falls a part.
-my children at bedtime
— WorstMomOfAllTime (@worstmomofall) May 5, 2015
Me: Time to get ready for bed.
7yo: But I'm not at Mommy Mode yet.
Me: What's that?
7yo:Mommy Mode means I'm tired.
Well, he's not wrong.
— Jenn Harrell Scott (@Jenn_H_Scott) February 9, 2016
8. DO NOT DISTURB.
Woke my daughter for school and she literally growled at me. Brings a tear to my eye seeing her act like me a little more every day.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 23, 2016
9. That does sound fun.
My son’s new game is to walk me to a bed, turn off the lights, and leave me to lay there in silence. I’ve named this game “my favorite”
— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 2, 2016
Tired: when you yell at your toddler to "EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!" and then realize you forgot to give it to her.
— Harmony Hobbs (@ModMomMad) August 13, 2015
11. Hope you don’t mind.
I know you need to sleep, but I'm just going to climb into your bed, stretch out like a starfish, and kick you in the face.
-my 2 yo
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) April 27, 2015
12. Good a time as any.
Parenthood is waking up at 5 am to the sound of your kid practicing his "best howl."
— Jen Simon (@NoSleepInBklyn) April 11, 2016
13. It just takes so much effort.
Hand to God, my son just whined that he didn't want to take a nap because he was too tired…
— I Like Beer & Babies (@beerandbabies) June 26, 2015
14. No brainer.
My 10yo wants to have a sleepover at our house tonight and I'm torn between saying no or no.
— oh please (@ohpeetie) January 29, 2016
15. A thing we do now.
I love you.
– a thing I just whispered to my bed.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) October 13, 2014
16. Kids make the best birth control.
Sometimes I want another child then I remember my son once woke me up at 2am just to tell me that lettuce makes him vomit.
— mama (@mamatomy3) February 3, 2016
17. Sneaky, sneaky.
Tonight we're putting the kids to bed over an hour early. Because it's been a long day and they don't know how to tell time.
— Dave Lesser (@AmateurIdiot) January 18, 2015
18. Common misunderstanding.
I just said it's bedtime but by the crying and screaming that is happening I'm afraid my kids thought I said it's the end of ALL time.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) January 21, 2015
19. Yeah, you’re nowhere close to bedtime.
3yo bangs on tom-tom drum and screams, THIS IS A BEDTIME SONG!!, at the top of his lungs. A lone tear rolls down his mother's cheek.
— The Home Tome (@jocelynjanecox) February 17, 2016
20. Well that’s depressing.
My kids slept in until 6 AM!
See what I did there? I used "slept in" and "6 AM" in the same sentence.
This is your life on parenting.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) March 24, 2016
21. This is hell.
My neighbors don't always do home improvement projects, but when they do you can bet it's 1 min after the kids are finally down for a nap.
— Vicki Lesage (@vickilesage) January 27, 2016
22. We’ve all been there.
If you haven't woken up from a nap covered in stickers, did you even fall asleep while watching cartoons with your preschooler.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 10, 2016
23. A perfect combination.
And on the seventh day she rested because there were equal amounts of children and iPads in her dwelling.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) May 15, 2016
24. A tragic bedtime story.
And the Oscar goes to my toddler for her dramatic portrayal of a poor mistreated child made to go to bed against her will by her mean Mama.
— SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) May 17, 2016
25. Oh, the irony.
You know how toddlers throw temper tantrums when they don't want to take a nap? That's me when I have to get up from a nap.
— Crazy Stalker Mom (@texasstalkermom) April 19, 2016
26. They’re so cute when they’re unconscious.
The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed. – Unknown
— Gina Valley (@GinaValley) May 16, 2016
27. It’s time to slumber.
That feeling when you finally get your kids to bed pic.twitter.com/gKLjciSIEQ
— Basic Ally (@SarcasticAlly12) April 19, 2016