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Grocery Shopping: Before Kids vs. After Kids

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

Everything changes when you have a baby. Even food shopping! Gone are the days of grabbing a basket and sliding it through your arm. No more do you thoughtfully select the perfect avocado and ponder the sushi station for 10 minutes. 

Grocery shopping with the kids is like The Hunger Games — literally. Hold on to that shopping cart tight and don’t worry, we all forget that cushy protective seat cover in the car.

The first stop on your grocery store run …

Before kids: The wine store with the gourmet cheese counter and olive bar.

After kids: Ugh, you’re too tired to grocery shop tonight. The fast food drive-thru it is — you’ll try again tomorrow.

When you finally make it to the grocery store …

Before kids: You have a lovely shopping experience at Whole Foods with time to measure and weigh grains and nuts, after perusing their new beauty products of course.

After kids: Whole Foods?! Please, you hit up the mega store where you can buy diapers, milk, and frozen pizza. You spend the majority of your visit removing your toddler from the scales, the shelves, and the candy aisle.

What’s on your list …

Before kids: Greek yogurt, fresh berries, a block of cheese, and some sparkling water

After kids: Yogurt in a squeeze tube, cheese sticks, and buy 1/get 1 juice boxes

A stop at the deli …

Before kids: You order 1/4 lb. of turkey and some low-fat Swiss cheese.

After kids: Your child thinks the deli is a buffet: “Can I have one more piece of cheese please pretty please … puhlease.”

The looks you get from fellow shoppers …

Before kids: You eye a cute guy in the produce section checking you out. “Why hello there!”

After kids: Strangers give you dirty looks as your 9-year-old twins hold oranges up to their chests shrieking, “Boobs, bro!”

When you make a pit stop at the coffee corner and bakery …

Before kids: You sip your coffee leisurely while reading celeb gossip on your iPhone.

After kids: Your kids are like cats, crawling on the counter screaming for donut holes and free cookies.

What you leave the store with …

Before kids: You buy the nine items on your list and congratulate yourself on your self control.

After kids: You buy the nine items, plus 27 more including a soggy bagel your toddler’s been sucking on. (Where he got it, you have no idea.)

Next stop on your grocery store run …

Before kids: The deli that makes the best eggplant rollintini and broccoli rabe. “Mmmm.”

After kids: Another stop? Seriously?! Um, we’re going home.

When you get home and realize you forgot the coffee …

Before kids: Ugh, it’s 9 PM and you’re so not leaving your apartment. You’ll grab Starbucks on the way to work. 

After kids: Hell yassssss! “Honey, I’m headed back to the store. Watch the kids, will you? Alone time at last! Peace out!”

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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