Penn and Kim Holderness are at it again with a hilarious new video titled, “Homework Wine Pairings.” In it, the adorable couple discuss various types of wines to pair with different school subjects, including Chardonnay, which Kim describes as “buttery like my fingers from stress eating potato chips,” and a cab for science which is, “dense like me, trying to explain it to her.”
Every parent of school-aged children knows eventually your child will bring homework home from school that you cannot solve. For me, this began when my children entered fourth grade. I probably shouldn’t admit that out loud but the first step to solving a problem is recognizing it exists, right? RIGHT?!?
Kim admits in the video that all she remembers from science is, “Vinegar plus baking soda equals volcano.” I am glad to see I am not alone both in my fondness of wine and long- term memory challenges.
While sniffing the Oregon Pinot, Penn fondly recalls that, “The only history I remember is what I learned while playing Oregon Trail on the Apple 2 GS.” Oh, how I loved Oregon Trail. I recall having the option to hold a funeral if a member of your party died of dysentery or unfortunate snakebite, and I always declined. Your party suffered a severe blow to morale but you could get back in the game quicker. A bit cutthroat I know but those bison weren’t going to shoot themselves, now were they?
It’s strange how I can remember every screen shot of Oregon Trail and all the words to “Ice Ice Baby” but can’t summon a single math drill if my life depended on it.
The Holderness’s cap off their video with an ode to science projects, while their daughter lies helplessly in the background on their dining room table. “For this we go straight vodka,” Kim says. “I don’t feel like I need to explain myself.”
I feel you, Kim.
I actually sent a bottle of wine to my neighbor mid-science project last winter out of solidarity. I made my daughter carry it down to her since us mothers were doing the majority of the project ourselves at that point in the night anyway.
She looked at me and was like, “Moooooom, this is SO embarrassing, what if someone sees me?”
Yeah, well, so is me trying to figure out the circumference of a life-sized Starburst at 11 PM the night before your project is due after three glasses of wine, but you don’t see me complaining, now do you?
Another perfectly accurate portrayal of parenthood nailed by the Holderness family.