I scroll through my Instagram feed every night before bed. It’s my way of unwinding and having mindless entertainment from an exhausting day. Most of the people I follow are fellow moms who share bits and pieces of their lives. I look and see photos of their children smiling perfectly for the camera. I see a mom who has a spotless house and whose makeup and hair are completely done while she says she’s just relaxing at home. According to these photos, motherhood is just shy of perfect.
Take a look at my feed and you’ll see some of those photos, but you will also see moments of kids crying, my house a mess, and me make-up free with hair that hasn’t been washed in days. You’ll see just as many bad days as you will good.
I’m five years into this mom thing and can I tell you that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t say to myself, “Damn this is hard.” Some days are harder than others. If I am going to be completely honest, some days just downright suck. And to those outsiders that are looking in on those little parts of my life, I want them to see that too.
Not only do I want to be real, but I get some of the biggest support for those fellow mamas that pull me through those bad days. Sharing a photo of my house a mess and laundry piled up (which is how it looks most days) or one of the kids crying and refusing to go to bed is a little way that I can share a cry for help. It’s a way that I can call out to several thousand fellow mamas and say, please pull me out of this and help me get through.
It’s those photos, tweets, or status updates that share my struggles that I get the most feedback and words of encouragement. Moms that tell me that they’ve been there and that it gets better. Although I know that it always does, it helps hearing someone who’s been there before telling me those things. Knowing that I can be honest and vent about the witching hour or that my son refuses to take a nap during the day is so refreshing.
I love being a mom and there is no doubt in my mind that this is what I am supposed to do with my life, but I just wish that we would all be more honest about motherhood so that we can support one another when we have those crappy moments. My life is a truly wonderful and joyous life, but not every moment of it is wonderful and joyous. And that’s what I want people to know.
Sometimes sharing the negative in motherhood can be just as powerful as sharing the positive.