The other day, I washed the same load of laundry for the THIRD time because I was just too lazy to take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. Every time I went to switch loads, I realized they had that “stale clothes musty funk” so I re-washed them, only to forget about them for another day or two. And repeat. And repeat.
And then there was the time I was too lazy to iron my son’s shirt so I just went over his collar a little bit with my hair straightener. What? It sort of worked!
It occurred to me that parenting can sometimes look a little like a bad movie about living in a frat house. From the circles under our eyes, our unkempt appearances, our horribly dirty cars, worn socks strewn around our houses and foul smells emanating from our garbage pails, parents might seem half a step removed from uncivilized in their lowest and laziest moments, at least judging by appearances.
I figured I can’t possible be alone in feeling my laziness reaches epic proportions at times, so I posed this question to my Facebook friends:
Finish this sentence in regard to parenting: I was so lazy, one time I ______________________.
Here were the responses, in all their slobby and slothy glory:
… didn’t feel like cooking so I fed the kids cereal for dinner. Five times in one week.
… washed all of my bedding, but didn’t get around to putting it on my bed until two weeks later.
… watched three hours of The Golden Girls reruns because the remote control was three feet away.
… didn’t feel like washing the dirty dishes stacking up in my kitchen, so I threw them out and bought paper plates. [!!!]
… didn’t have the energy to go downstairs to grab the DVD, so I downloaded the movie instead.
… sent my kids upstairs to grab my computer, cell phone, papers, hairbrush, really anything. I hate walking up those stairs!
… didn’t get around to washing my son’s uniform so I just sprayed it with Febreeze and made him wear it again.
… walked my dog while driving the golf cart around the block.
… didn’t want to get out of bed to turn off my lights so I threw a shoe at the light switch. I missed. I slept with the lights on.
… texted my son in the next room that dinner was ready.
… bought new underwear at Target to avoid laundry.
… rewashed the towels five times because I was too lazy to put them in the dryer before I went to bed.
… ordered pizza to be delivered for dinner because I was too tired to cook a frozen one.
… messaged my kid on Facebook when I was sick in bed because I was thirsty.
… when my brother was a teen, my father asked him to shovel the driveway. Instead of shoveling, my brother drove back and forth over the snow about 100 times and packed it all down and then told my dad it was easier to drive over and that my dad was dumb to shovel cause it’ll melt. It took my poor father three hours to shovel the packed snow.
… picked up fast food on the way home from grocery shopping because I was too tired to actually cook anything I just bought.
… verbally played hide and go seek. Just guessed where they were hiding and they would yell yes or no.
… pretended I was sick so my husband would take the kids out to dinner and I could stay in bed.
… slapped a diaper over my sleeping daughter’s bathing suit, instead of changing her into her nightgown and risk waking her up.
… let my son eat microwave popcorn for breakfast so I could get ten more minutes of sleep.
… let my son’s swimming lessons count as his “bath,” and not for just one time.
… too lazy to mop the floor so I moved.
… way before cell phones or internet, my mom and I would attach a plastic bag to the dog’s collar, (with something in the bag,) then yell to the other person to call the dog. In a two story house. So we didn’t have to go up or down the stairs as often.
… wore my bikini bottoms many times because I didn’t have clean underwear. Keeping it classy!
… woke up one morning and took my first nap of the day ten minutes later.
Now you know you’re not alone. So what is the laziest thing YOU’VE done?