James Breakwell is a self-proclaimed “real-life nobody,” but we can’t help but disagree. In addition to his day job, the dad of four has been entertaining an audience of over 651K followers on Twitter with hilarious play-by-plays of conversations with his girls.
Breakwell’s daughters are 6, 4, 2, and 10 months old, so it’s safe to say he and his wife have their hands full. While yes, his kids keep him quite busy, they also provide him with the perfect material for his Twitter account.
From parenting fails and chats with his girls to marriage jokes, this funny dad has “always wanted to be a comedy writer,” which he now does in a fun way on Twitter. In a recent interview he noted:
“At least one of them is sobbing at all times about a crisis that exists only in her head. I’ve heard it so much, it barely registers anymore. I think they broke my eardrums. If I wasn’t tweeting about the funny parts of parenthood, I’d probably have a mental breakdown. Twitter is cheaper than a therapist”
We certainly know what that feels like. If someone isn’t screaming — there’s probably something really wrong.
We had the chance to chat one-on-one with Breakwell, who surprisingly told us he doesn’t feel outnumbered by all the ladies in his home just yet. He explained to Babble:
“I don’t truly feel like the odd man out until it’s time to dress up … All of my daughters either love to wear dresses or can’t complain about it because they’re too young to talk. I imagine I’ll feel even more outnumbered as my kids get older. There will be a point when all four of them are teenagers at the same time. With any luck, I’ll be dead by then. Fingers crossed.”
We are just way too familiar with this feeling. Our favorite part about Breakwell’s Twitter account is how real his conversations with his kids are. They showcase the chats we hear in our own homes but often have to try to stifle our laughter (you know, to show the kids who’s boss).
He said, “I couldn’t write the kind of comedy I do without having real children to listen to for hours and hours a day. They think in a way that’s completely alien to adults. I assure you they do not come in peace.”
Being a dad has been a pretty great experience for Breakwell, who admits his favorite part about being a parent is reliving all the stuff he did as a kid. He noted, “I have an excuse to reread and rewatch everything I loved when I was young. Rather than being an immature man-child, I’m being a good dad. It’s the perfect excuse.” As a dad, he’s able to find a place for all of the Star Wars knowledge from his youth.
He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to leave his “boring desk job” to write full-time, but on good days he could imagine it as a reality. He told Babble:
“The one thing I’m certain of is I’ll have to sell out a lot harder if I want to make a living off this. Right now, I put most of my energy into generating free content on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and SnapChat. That’s one of the advantages of having a day job. I can focus on being funny and don’t have to worry too much about the money side of it — at least until I remember I’ll have four weddings to pay for someday.”
However, he is working on a book called “Only Dead on the Inside,” A Parent’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. It is exactly as it sounds, “a book on how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead.” We can’t wait to read it!
As for Breakwell’s wife? She has “gradually come around.” At first, Breakwell explained, “When I stared at my phone and ignored everyone, she thought I was being rude. Now when I do it, she thinks I’m building a career.” The comedic writer revealed his wife’s only rule, “I can’t post her picture online or get the family murdered. So far, so good.”
We love how Breakwell has allowed his kids to follow their natural instincts and (to an extent) do whatever they want. He told us:
“I’m still not sure if I’m empowering my kids or ruining their lives. I’ll have to wait and see if they end up in medical school or prison. For now, I strongly believe in letting my daughters do whatever they think is fun as long as it won’t get them killed or cost me any money.”
We can’t help but agree. Sometimes it can feel like there’s only a 50/50 chance that we’re doing parenting right.
Breakwell doesn’t care what activities his kids are into, whether it be princesses or zombies, he just wants to be a part of it.
“My kids like lightsaber battles, zombies, and princesses with ice powers, and that’s OK. When I play with them, sometimes I get to be the dark lord of of the Sith, and sometimes I’m a snowman. At least I’m guaranteed to get some good tweet material either way.”
So don’t waste any more time! Follow James Breakwell on Twitter @XplodingUnicorn for an extra ounce of laughter in your day.