For parents, the holidays are a wondrous time of year. A time to sit back, relax, and see the miracle of this magical season through the eyes of our children. A time of giving and sharing with those around us and a chance to step back from the stresses of the year and bask in the quiet calm of family. Bahahahaha, I’m totally kidding. The holidays are a total shit show and the only thing that gets some of us parents through is the joy of bold face lying to our little angels. Why do you think Elf on the Shelf was invented?
For those whose child believes in Santa, Christmastime allows for a whole new set of
schemes, ahem, I mean opportunities, to get our children to behave. We parents of small children have at least a month to threaten that a fat man dressed in costume whom they’ve never met is watching EVERY MOVE THEY MAKE. If that’s not creepy enough, one mom took it to a whole other level last week when she decided to change her sister Megan’s name in her phone to, you guessed it, Ol’ Saint Nick himself.
Kristin Hensley, a mom and comedian who co-hosts a web series about motherhood called #IMOMSOHARD shared her hysterical hack on Facebook last week.
She told The Huffington Post she came up with the trick one night during the hell that is bath time.
Her kids, who were 3 and 5, at the time were misbehaving, and after changing the names in her phone said, “Siri, text Santa.”
Siri said, “Okay, what would you like to say to Santa Claus?”
Hensley continued, “Eleanor is not being very friendly and is screaming in the bathtub. Please take note and remove any necessary toys you feel is appropriate for her actions.” Hensley’s sister got the joke and texted back, as Santa: “Please tell Eleanor and Finn that I will give them a second chance. They should be nice and listen to mommy.”
That seemed to get their attention.
“Santa is the single greatest piece of leverage parents have all year round,” Hensley told The Huffington Post. And while some parents are arguing her hack is “too mean” or “going too far,” I say simply, why not? You know the saying, “It takes a village”? Well, why shouldn’t that village include Santa? Huh? HUH?! The village’s only rule is to raise kind, responsible human beings while inflicting minimal damage until such time they can fend for themselves. Santa seems like an excellent choice to play the role of present-snatching villager.
I’m digging the possibility of having Santa on speed dial from now on thanks to Hensley. After all, kids, Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. Please, there are three of you. Mommy is barely hanging on by a thread here.More On