The other morning, I changed a poop diaper before I took my baby to music class. Later, as I bounced Ben on my lap, he spit up a bit. I reached inside my diaper bag, felt around, and found … the poop diaper, wrapped in a plastic sack. Exactly how it got there, I didn’t recall.
I’d say that my third child ate my brain but, really, my mind hasn’t been the same ever since I had kids. I absentmindedly put stuff in weird places, neglect to take vital things like my wallet when I leave the house, misplace my phone and keys countless times in a given week (or day), forget to take my kids to appointments, and call people by the wrong names including the people who are my children.
There’s comfort in numbers, though, and as it turns out nearly every parent has at least one unforgettable incident of mom brain, if not a hundred. Read and relate!
“I was making a doctor appointment for my then 7-month-old. The nurse comes in and asks for his date of birth to look up his records. I completely froze. After mumbling and apologizing for ever being allowed to be a mother I said, ‘I think the third, but I’m not sure.’ She started laughing and asked which month. ‘August, I think? Wait, maybe July. He is my third. OMG, I can’t BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!!’ She laughed and says it happens all the time. For what it’s worth, he was born on September 7th. What a moron.” — Julie Scagell
“I recently returned a pile of books to the library. Too bad they belonged to my daughter.” — Judy E.
“I was making toast one morning, while also trying to put sunscreen on my son, while keeping him from throwing toys at my head, while talking to my husband on speaker about scheduling. I had the sunscreen next to a jar of ghee (clarified butter) and slathered ghee all over his face before I realized what the heck I was doing.” — Bailey Gaddis
“A couple of years ago my twins were all excited for their friend’s birthday party. They’d been talking about it nonstop, picked out the perfect present, and couldn’t wait to get there. When my husband took them to the gymnastics center where the party was, it was closed. The party had been the day before! I explained to the friend’s mom later about having gotten the wrong day and she looked at me like I was nuts.” — Leslie Gaar
“At least several times a week, I make a right turn to get to my kids’ school to drop them off. Thing is, they’ve been out of that school for two years now and their current one is to the left.” — Hedy C.
“I regularly wear my clothes inside out or backwards. I swear, it’s becoming a serious problem. I even landed my book deal wearing my pants completely backwards. In my defense, they were maternity pants, but still … ” — Chaunie Brusie
“After I unpacked a large box of diapers I’d ordered online one late afternoon, on a day that I was super-super-tired — as opposed to the other days when I’m just super-tired — I started to make dinner. When I opened the fridge, there was a pack of diapers inside. I have no idea what I was thinking, because clearly I wasn’t thinking!” — Wendy S.
“That moment when you’re holding the folded up stroller, the diaper bag, your purse, your keys, a baby bottle, and the baby, and you realize you have the baby’s pacifier in your mouth.” — Varda Epstein
“My little girl was going on a field trip with her class, and I actually remembered to sign the permission slip and send it in. The teacher emailed me the next day: I’d signed her name instead of mine. Wha?!” — Betsy P.
“I have three kids, and the third has kind of put me over the edge, organization-wise. I completely forgot to book my son’s well child appointment with the pediatrician. I only remembered because my friend asked me how tall he was, and I said kind of off-handedly, ‘I don’t know exactly; I guess we’ll find out at his 7-year-old checkup.’ My friend looked at me funny and said, ‘Didn’t he turn seven six months ago?’ And it hit me like a brick that I never made the appointment or took him in. Mother of the year, right here.” — Erin Matzkin
“When I was pregnant with my youngest, I put a casserole in the oven. Ten minutes later, as the smoke alarm was going off, I realized it was in a plastic bowl.” — Angela S.
“I’ve left the house numerous times with my slippers on. Once, I got to the dog groomers and rocked them out! My brain: It’s lost.” — Brie T.