Just days after Australian mommy blogger Constance Hall posted a Facebook status busting single mom myths, some 76,000 people have reacted — and nearly 23,000 have shared it to pass on the good word. And if I could do more than simply emoji-react and click the “share” button to support her message, I seriously would. Because in my opinion, Hall deserves all the high-fives in the world for boldly shattering the stigmas that constantly surround single motherhood, and in turn shame a good majority of the parenting world.
With her trademark candor, this mom (and new favorite woman of mine) doesn’t mince her words when she tells people exactly what many single mothers would like their critics to understand. And she does it in a way that you can’t help but be moved by.
“They aren’t always broke,” Hall says in her post about single mothers. “Single mums often work, often make a f*ck load of cash, some drink Grey Goose and wear Chanel, others drink goon and don’t wear much, it’s called #variaty (sic).”
Like I said, she doesn’t mince her words, and I have to say, I love that! She gets her point across by shocking readers enough to really and truly get their attention, and then calling them out on the flaws in their criticisms.
And trust me, I know all about the criticisms that follow the single mother title, because as a single mother myself, I’ve been doing this long enough to know that when I tell someone about my singular parenting status, I’m immediately met with a look of pity for my situation. Not to mention a raised eyebrow that seems to question how I got myself into this “predicament” in the first place.
But Hall gets it; she really, really gets it. “They didn’t f*ck anything up,” Hall continues in her defense single mothers. “Anybody could wake up tomorrow and become a single parent, whether they chose it or not, anyone. High horses are for twats.”
Although not currently being a single mother herself, Hall went through what she refers to as a “short stint” of single parenting, and adds that she was raised by a single mother herself, proudly stating, “I respect them and I admire the shit out of them.”
In my opinion, her perspective is golden when it comes to shutting down the stone throwers that are so quick to point out all the reasons that single mothers will fail their children by being the only person doing a job that was originally designed for two.
“Their kids aren’t disadvantaged,” she explains. “The only disadvantage children of single parent’s face is the knowledge that their mum is being judged. Kids are clever, they pick up on that shit.”
I will tell you from my own experience, truer words have never been spoken. I’m working my butt of trying to be everything that my kids need me to be, and I don’t need the added burden of the world telling them that I will never be enough.
Because as single parents, we are enough. Our children are not losing out, and we don’t need to settle for the next guy or girl that comes around, just so we can give them “more.”
“They don’t want a new dad for their kids,” Hall boldly proclaims. And furthermore, “they don’t want your husbands. They didn’t spend all this time getting rid of theirs and supporting their kids and working their arses off to have to wake up next to your farting, snoring, horny delight.”
And while that line made me laugh hysterically, I’m still over here cheering her on, because her words are so very, very true. I’ve also lost friends who assume that I am now some kind of threat to their marriage, and I’ve been advised to just settle with the next man who is willing to accept the “burden” of my children; nothing makes me angrier than people assuming my kids are nothing more than an added complication in my life.
Because, as Hall continues, our kids “aren’t baggage.” In fact, “children are assets and women who raise them on their own have very strong instincts, they won’t give a bloke who sees their kids as baggage a look in.”
So while I don’t know Hall personally, she seems to have a pretty good idea of what I’ve been up against for the last four years, and I can only hope that she continues to speak her mind. Because maybe, if she can garner enough attention to change a few minds with her socially shocking and ever-so-true statements, people will finally accept me for the mother that I’m trying to be, instead of just the mother that they just wrongly assume that I am.More On