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12 Moms Share Their Secret Parenting Fears

When it comes to fears, I’ve always had the same random ones throughout my life: fear of choking and fear of squirrels (I know, it’s weird). But since I became a mother, I’ve developed an entirely new set of fears — mainly, that one day my children will want nothing to do with me.

I am a pretty high strung, Type-A person. I worry that once my kids grow up, they aren’t going to want to be around me because … well, I’m just not always a fun person to be around. I know this sounds like kind of a downer conversation to have, but it was actually good for me to acknowledge it, because it’s something I can work on. Of course, I can’t guarantee that my children will like me and want to be around me when they are grown, but changing my own behaviors certainly can’t hurt.

This conversation got me thinking about how we all have our secret fears when it comes to parenting, so I asked a few readers to share theirs in hopes that it will make us all feel a little better.

“That my kids will look back and be disappointed.”

“[I’m scared] I didn’t do enough or do my best. I think it puts a lot of pressure on a mom. On the flip side though, if you can turn that fear around and just say you know what? Today is today and we are going to live it, then it can remind you to really be present.” — Kelli

“The loss of a child or the loss of me for them.”

“I honestly don’t know how I could go on, and I can’t imagine how the parents who have experienced this do. I also worry about my children losing me and the aftermath of that, and if at a young age, never knowing or remembering how deeply and unconditionally I loved them.” — Meghan

“That my kids are going to either be kidnapped or harmed … “

… or have to witness something terrible happening to me or their dad and remember it forever. The thought of them needing me and being afraid, but me being nowhere around to help them is my worst nightmare. I don’t even like typing that. The world is full of so many crazy stories that it’s hard not to let my mind go here every time I hear about one.” — Amanda

“That I would make the wrong choices/decisions for them that ultimately lead to their harm.”

“It really freaks me out sometimes to think of all the minute things that can possibly go wrong and how even the smallest of choices can impact.” — Brianna

“That some sort of natural disaster or other event will make it necessary for us to quickly escape.”

“Now that we have three kids, it would be much harder for us to just grab them and go. This fear came about while we were watching some zombie movie awhile back and the parents were always carrying their two daughters around as they were running. It’s a good thing zombies aren’t real.” — Kira

“I worry that my kids will be overweight.”

“This is going to sound completely shallow and awful, but I struggled with my weight growing up, and I know how hard it can be and how mean kids can be. My kids are still young and have their chubby, baby faces yet. I’m sure they’ll grow out of it, but I can’t help but hope it happens sooner rather than later.” — Alicia

“That I’m going to screw my kid up.”

“Being a mom is such a big job and it overwhelms me sometimes, because I feel so ill-equipped. I keep reminding myself that I was perfectly chosen for him though — that I am the only mom for him. ” — Kate

“My biggest fear is regret.”

“I am so afraid I’ll look back and regret all the times I could have given more, spent more time, said no when I should have said yes, read more, shown more love, etc. I fear I’ll regret missing key pieces of their childhood because I’m often selfish.” — Ashley

“I worry a lot about the friends my kids are going to have as they get older.”

“I know from experience that the people you spend time around have such a huge influence on the person you become. I find myself hyper analyzing my kids’ friends even though they’re still just in preschool. It’s a little bit crazy, but I can’t help it!” — Mindy

“I have an intense phobia of choking.”

It stems from a traumatic experience as a child. I worry all the time that my kids are going to choke and die on my watch. I know first aid/CPR/the Heimlich maneuver, but it still freaks me out all the time.” — Sara

“I worry that my children will be bullied, or that they will be bullies.”

“I just want them to be good people. I also hope they are well-liked. It sounds so vain, but I don’t want their middle school experiences to mirror mine. It was a rough few years for me.” — Susan

 “I worry that I won’t be able to help her reach her full potential.”

“My daughter has always been really bright and such a quick learner. She caught onto reading and early math skills like it was nothing before even heading into kindergarten. I was never a very good student myself though, so I feel very little confidence when it comes to helping her with school work, and I worry that I won’t be able to help her reach her full potential.” — Kat

***

While many of these fears were different from my own, it was reassuring to know that having fears surrounding parenting is a completely normal part of the journey and that sharing these fears with others can be an incredibly helpful part of moving past them and ridding these fears of their power over us.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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