We were in the ER for over seven hours that night.
He didn’t sleep a wink, which didn’t come as a surprise because he had wires that he was trying to rip off every five minutes. And as every parent knows, if he doesn’t sleep, I don’t sleep.
Around 5 AM, they released us with directions for him to get some rest and to come back if he had anymore croupy breathing and coughing episodes.
By the time we got home and into bed we only had a few hours before the girls woke up to get ready for school. I’d pulled all-nighters before. Probably more times in college than I would care to admit. But in those days I was able to sleep in until and had no other responsibilities or cares in the world.
Those days were long gone.
Now I have three kids that rely on me, regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten the night before. They need me to get them through their day — so that’s what I did. For the next three days of Macks being sick and not sleeping, a total of five hours of sleep all together, I went on with my motherly duties just as I’d do on any other day.
Ten years ago I would have never thought I could do such a thing. I didn’t have a lack of confidence in myself, but it wasn’t until I became a mother and was tested to my limits that I realized that I never even pushed myself to do more in my pre-mom days.
I suffered through pregnancy. Throwing up literally every day up until the day I gave birth. I had to give myself a constant IV and replace the needle every five hours for months. It was painful, but I’d do it all over again in a second to keep my kids healthy and safe.
Traveling by myself with three kids? Yeah, didn’t think anyone would be crazy enough to do that. But after the initial breakthrough of doing it that first time, I can now do it without any fear or hesitation. I even had the guts to travel by myself with all three (ages five and under) from Florida to Connecticut by myself over the summer. Everyone I mentioned it to thought I was crazy for doing it, but rather than focusing on all of the negatives that might come on the trip, I chose to do the opposite.
And you know what? The trip turned out to be an amazing one for all four of us.
It’s taken me a while to get to this point in my journey of motherhood, but now that I’m here I know that not only am I at this good place for me, but for my children, too.
Motherhood is hard. Really hard. But what comes with the toughness and obstacles is confidence. A confidence that takes over and makes you feel like you are capable of anything.
And I’m here to tell you that you are.More On