Imagine you’re a pregnant gal wanting to indulge a serious craving for some delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken, when out of nowhere, a guy fresh from the gym decides to generously help you “fix” your clearly out-of-shape body.
Well, if you’re Laura Mazza, a 31-year-old social worker from Australia, you might just drop your jaw in your gravy — and then stand up for pregnant women eating fried chicken everywhere.
Mazza, who is happily married and 14 weeks pregnant with her third child, is also mom to a 3-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. She tells Babble that the incident really did happen exactly as she portrayed.
In her post, Mazza hilariously described the perspective of the man as if he was writing in his diary, trying generously to impart his fitness wisdom upon her “poor, imperfect body.” The man, along with a friend, she related, strode confidently into the fast food establishment dressed in a “low-cut singlet” that barely covered his flexed pectoral muscles.
Mazza wrote from the KFC man’s perspective:
“I look at her and notice, she’s kinda round, kinda chubby. I stare at her a bit while she goes from dunking her chips in hot sauce to potato and gravy and shoving it in her mouth with delight. I see her do the same with her burger…. and I don’t know why diary, but it bothers me…”
It bothered Mr. Pectorals so much in fact, that he decided it was his civic duty to inform Mazza that what she was eating was terribly unhealthy. “Excuse me, do you know how bad KFC is for you?” he announced. “THAT much KFC?’”
When Mazza looked back at him “confused and with disbelief” (as he was also eating popcorn chicken), the gracious stranger took time to explain that he, in fact, eats “very clean and was eating this because my lean body that was made from Zeus and Athena, the Greek gods, needed some fat.”
But wait, it gets better. After shaming Mazza for enjoying fried chicken while boasting anything less than a single digit body fat percentage, the man further explained that he was also a personal trainer. And then, he offered his services to help her “stop from jiggling when she walks” — and yes, those were his exact words, swears Mazza. He also offered to help her get “fit and hot for summer to find a man.”
Like you, dear reader, Mazza tells Babble that she initially thought the man was joking, but sadly realized he was completely serious. Fortunately, the mom-to-be took his helpful “advice” all in stride.
“It didn’t bother me because I know he didn’t know me or my life, so he really just said it for his own ego, and not to help me,” she explains. “He really spoke about himself a lot and I honestly think he was annoyed because I gave them both dirty looks because they were speaking so poorly about women they went to the gym with.”
Like most moms, Mazza has seen a lot of changes in her body through pregnancy and postpartum. “I was thin and things changed,” she says. “I was exhausted as a new mom and also was on antidepressants which I believe contributed to weight gain.”
Unfortunately, Mazza is no stranger to criticism about her body. According to the blogger, she has heard pretty much every harsh comment you can think of, and she knows it’s because she just happens to be female. “If I was a male blogger, blogging about parenting, I’d just be saluted and never would anyone question my health or eating habits,” she observes. “It’s actually quite funny.”
Mazza says she decided to share her story not only to encourage other fit men looking to impart “wisdom” to check their helpful suggestions at the gym door, but to show how common it is for moms to feel judged about the changes in their bodies. “[Moms] deserve to feel good and to know they’re not alone,” she adds.
So just how did she handle the man offering his helping fitness hand?
She did what any mother would do. She informed him he had something quite large stuck in his teeth, pulled a toothpick out of her bag (because moms are always prepared), offered it to him, and generously gave him the chance to clear his teeth, so he could start his self-righteous spiel over again.
And when he froze and muttered a hurried “never mind,” she smiled to herself … and continued to lick her fingers after every delicious, gravy-filled bite.
The personal trainer may have been able to enjoy his popcorn chicken knowing he had the abs of a Grecian god, but as for Mazza? Well, she was able to enjoy the food that was nourishing her third baby, knowing that she was just fine with her body because it serves a purpose beyond merely looking good.
“I gained stretch marks and muscle separation and loose skin, but I’m happy with it all,” she says. “I love what my body has done because I love my children so much.”
I think that’s something we can all drink gravy to.