This just in: Rich Mom Ain’t Running No Trick-Or-Treat Charity for Poor Folks!
The letter you’re about to read is going to spook you, but not in the deliciously scary way in which Halloween is supposed to. It appeared in the Dear Prudence advice column on Slate. It’s from a woman who is really annoyed by all the poor kids that come trick-or-treating in her neighborhood. She didn’t sign up for Halloween welfare, you know!
I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets — mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?
—Halloween for the 99 Percent
Prudence, as always, offers legit advice in the vein of STOP BEING A JERK. Because, really? How much is an extra bag or two of candy from Costco? People, man. They really suck sometimes. The thing about it is that I grew up as poor as anyone. My mom once sent me on a “vacation” to my aunt’s house with a wallet full of food stamps for spending money. But I’ll be damned if poor folks don’t hand out far better candy for Halloween than rich folks. Often seems to me that the rich are stingy and the poor are actually the most generous. Regardless of cost, if I lived in an unsafe area you bet your ass I’m heading to a nicer neighborhood to trick-or-treat. Either way, lady needs to get a grip. And the poor kids in her area need to get some toiletpaper and eggs for when they hit up her house.
I think a comment on Jezebel sums up the entire situation beautifully, “I do not understand this person on any level. Buy candy and hand it out. If you run out of candy, turn your light off. The end.”
Image: Monica Bielanko