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37 Ridiculous Sibling Fights Every Parent Has Had to Break Up

Image source: Thinkstock
Image source: Thinkstock

Those of us who chose to have multiple children probably did so because we loved the idea of a big family full of kids with built-in buddies. We imagined them building forts and going on imaginary adventures together, bonding over giggles, and entertaining one another in ways that keep them from being underfoot while we cooked meals.

Sure, that does happen every once in a while. But we’ve also learned that those who love one another most can get on one another’s nerves like boom.

AND THEN IT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.

As such, here are just some of the things every parent has had to break up an argument — or actual fisticuffs — between their kids over:

  1. He looked at her.
  2. She almost touched him.
  3. He put the remote someplace that isn’t the spot she looks for it in.
  4. She was using the only iPad that YouTube works on, even though he’s pretty sure it’s his turn.
  5. He sat on the couch where she could see him out of the corner of her eye, but she’s clearly trying to watch TV and he’s spoiling the experience.
  6. She thinks that once she’s in a room she owns the room, but she doesn’t because Mom and Dad remind them all the time that they are the ones who pay the bills, duh.
  7. He said her name.
  8. She went in his room.
  9. He broke a single piece off of her LEGO tower.
  10. She was super grossed out that he was only wearing underwear under the blanket he wore to the breakfast table.
  11. He wasn’t being gross, she was being gross thinking about his underwear.
  12. She kept licking banana slices and touching him with them.
  13. He was chewing too loud.
  14. She wouldn’t stop tapping her foot.
  15. His knock-knock joke was dumb.
  16. She lied to Mom about brushing her teeth and that is morally reprehensible behavior that must immediately be reported VERY LOUDLY.
  17. He was a poopy-headed tattletale jerkface who should mind his own beeswax.
  18. She tried on his glasses.
  19. He helped himself to the box of crackers in the cabinet she was going to eat at some point that day.
  20. She wouldn’t stop singing along happily to the radio in the car.
  21. He had less homework than she did.
  22. Her face was annoying.
  23. He tried to help her get the notes right while playing the recorder, but she isn’t a baby so she doesn’t want his stupid help.
  24. She thinks she knows everything.
  25. He wasn’t interested in her very detailed story about what happened when she was playing with her toy horse that morning.
  26. She never shuts up.
  27. He farted. No she did. No he did. No she did. No he did. No she did.
  28. She reminded him to throw his trash out, but she’s not Mom or the boss of him or anyone, really, so he never needs to listen to her, ever.
  29. He doesn’t appreciate people trying to keep him from getting in trouble so obviously something is wrong with him.
  30. She was told to take a shower first and he smiled because he knew she wanted to take one second.
  31. She woke the dog up while he was napping and that’s just rude.
  32. He’s not going to be a vet someday like she is so he can just keep his opinion about when it’s okay to play with the dog to himself.
  33. She tried to play with his friends.
  34. He stepped on the approximate area of the lawn that she believes the worm she once saw lives in.
  35. She wanted to read what was written on his T-shirt.
  36. He ruins everything.
  37. She started it.
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