I think something we’ve all had to learn as parents is that once your child starts talking, literally nothing is sacred anymore. And you know I mean absolutely N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I cannot even begin to imagine the things my son said to his preschool teachers just a few short years ago. And frankly, I don’t think I want to know.
Somewhere, a mom named Sherrie Kimber is feeling my pain right now. Love What Matters recently shared her story of the day her own loose-lipped little boy hilariously blew up her spot while shopping for pads at the grocery store, and let me tell you, it had me nearly in tears I was laughing so hard.
In her story, which was originally posted to her Facebook page in 2014, Kimber and her adorable son Carson quickly popped into the store for some emergency Always products. As kids will sometimes do, Carson demanded to carry the product to the checkout counter himself. Once there, the little boy placed the package on the counter for the cashier to ring up and then turned to the man behind him to loudly declare: “THESE ARE MOMMY’S DIAPERS!”
As people around Carson and his mother tried to contain their laughter, the little boy added a bit of token advice for the road: “Mommy, don’t pee in them. You pee in the potty!”
As you might imagine, the crowd immediately broke into hysterics. Meanwhile, poor Sherrie — who was ALREADY HAVING KIND OF A BAD DAY if she was buying pads, amirite ladies? — now had to sit through being publicly, and hilariously, roasted by her own son.
And I know we can ALL relate.
When my own daughter was in 1st grade, I received a call from her teacher telling me that they were speaking about how to be kind to animals in class that day and my daughter shared that whenever our dog barked in the middle of the night, her father would run downstairs with a baseball bat and then the dog would be quiet. The bat was OBVIOUSLY in case he had to ward off potential intruders, but I had a great time convincing her animal-loving teacher that we didn’t regularly beat our dog with a baseball bat.
And don’t even get me started with little boys. My son, at age 3, lovingly named his testicles his “weenie brain”. In the bathtub he would say, “Look mommy, when I push my weenie brain, it tells my peepee to stand way up”. YEAAAA … (His pediatrician got a big kick out of that one at his next physical, by the way.)
Whether they’re at the checkout counter, in the classroom, or on the exam table at the doctor’s office, I think we can all agree that our kids can bring down a room with their perfectly timed one-liners. But like Carson’s mom, I think sometimes we all just wish their timing was a little less… well, PUBLIC.