Moms who work. Moms who have tattoos. Moms who stay in pajamas all day. Moms who drink wine. Moms who use disposable diapers. Moms who let their kids play on the iPad. Moms who give their kids sugary snacks. Moms who co-sleep …
Ugh. These moms are horrible, right? I mean, why did they even have kids? (REALLY hope you can sense my sarcasm here. Because if there’s one thing we moms are flipping tired of, it’s the judgment.)
Since there is no handbook that comes with kids (and I would know, I’ve checked my mail. A. LOT.) — guess what? There is also no list of rules or requirements for what a mom looks like. Or how she dresses. Or what she says, what her house looks like, or how she cooks.
Do you want to live in a freaky Stepford Wives society where we are all robots and look and act exactly the same? Because I sure don’t. Therefore, we have to accept that we all do this motherhood thing differently. And I’ll say it super loud, for the people in the back: DIFFERENT DOES NOT MEAN WRONG.
Well, personal trainer and blogger Sia Cooper, (a.k.a. Diary of a Fit Mommy) is known for inspiring her nearly 100k followers to get healthy, take care of themselves, and find time for Mommy despite living in a sea of children. And she recently clapped back in an Instagram post to all those who call her a “bad mom.”
In it, Cooper shares that she’s been called a bad mom for just about everything under the sun — including, but not limited to:
“Working out during pregnancy.
Working out while having kids … period.
For caring about my looks and health.
Working out in Target.
Using canned goods and plastic crockpot liners.”
Canned goods and crockpot liners?! Girlfriends, let’s get it together. Come on. This is who we’ve become? Are we so sure that we are right and everyone else is wrong that we are willing to hurl hateful words at a mom who gives her kids a can of ravioli now and then? Well, I might as well hang up my motherhood boots because my kids ate $2 mac and cheese out of the box for dinner last night. WHILE I DRANK A BEER.
Cooper’s list of “bad mom” credentials doesn’t end there, though. Oh, no. It also includes the fact that she has tattoos and piercings, enjoys wine “every now and then”, lets her kids use technology (gasp!), and runs a full-time business from her home.
The list goes on (and on). So, to make her point that she ain’t got time for this negativity, Cooper took a powerful photo on her front stoop with “Bad Mom” written down her arm, while dressed in a sports bra so her tattoo is visible, and taking a giant swig of wine straight from the bottle. Oh, and her kids are next to her — her daughter is covered in chocolate, while her son is playing on the iPad.
She clearly covered as many bases as she could in one photo. Why? Because she knows she’s an awesome mom. Not BECAUSE she works out. Or BECAUSE she runs a business. Or BECAUSE she lets her kids have treats. She’s a good mom because she loves those babies and does her best, her way. And, most importantly, the overall message on her blog is that every mom should do it their own way, too.
The mom of two from Destin, Florida tells Babble that she wrote this post to “stand up to the haters and mom-shamers” so that “women who have been criticized for their parenting [choices] could band together and be heard.”
When asked why women judge moms who do things differently, Cooper tells Babble that she believes it’s because so many of us are insecure. “I think many women care to criticize others because of ignorance and feeling inferior in their own parenting skills or lack thereof.”
So she’s here to say stop. Stop being ignorant. And stop hurting others because you are worried you’re screwing it up. We are ALL worried we are screwing it up. So why not support each other instead?
“There’s no one right way to parent or to be a mom,” she writes. “We all are running in the same race and doing the best that we can.”
The best thing about Diary of a Fit Mommy is that never does Cooper say “You are a bad mom if you don’t exercise.” Or “You are a bad mom if you don’t work. Or if you do work.” She simply encourages us to take care of ourselves and reminds us that there is nothing wrong with me-time and self-care.
And that whether or not you use a crockpot liner really has no bearing on the kind of mom you are.