Ah, Black Friday, the time of year when the possibility of getting beaten up over a discount flatscreen TV is still a better option than another day ingesting carbs and hanging out with your bickering children. Here are some thoughts that run through the mind of the average Black Friday shopping mom:
“Jeans on sale for $5 each? The kids need 12 pairs each.”
Why no, no they don’t, but don’t let rationality be a buzzkill.
“I’ll definitely use those 4-inch heels on our next date night.”
Well, not really, since date night has morphed into “binge watch Netflix while nursing the baby,” but there’s always five years from now …
“I can knock out everyone’s Christmas presents at once!”
No, you’ll forget about 20 people (including your kid’s teachers) and then you’ll pay out the nose on December 24th for the Godiva chocolate basket you could have gotten today for $5.
“My husband will love this pink dress shirt, especially since it’s on sale.”
Or it will join the ranks of the peach one and the purple one, long buried in the back of his closet next to the gross high school sweatshirt you won’t let him wear anymore.
“Hey, I should really start wearing perfume again.”
Yes, it’s a great deal until it makes the baby wrinkle her nose and your husband asks you if you’re seeing someone else.
“You really can’t go wrong at these prices.”
Unless you buy that dress that makes you look like Ma Ingalls.
“This is so much better than hanging out with my mother-in-law yesterday!”
Usually said after you’ve been trampled and regained consciousness in Macy’s … and 100% true.More On