We love you already. We loved you when you were just an idea. An idea to adopt a child. An idea of how to build our family.
We loved you still (maybe more) when we realized that it was a really hard process. We loved you through the home study, where a lady went through our closets, drawers, financial information, and medical histories. Mommy spent the entire day before scrubbing the house clean, and Daddy made sure everything on the list, from the right cabinet locks to the perfect fire extinguisher, was completed.
We loved you through the required classes, interviews, certifications, book reports, and profile writing.
We loved you when the adoption agency said that it might be a long time before we’d get to meet you; a long time before your birth mom, your very first mother, would choose us to be your parents.
We loved you, and we knew you’d find your way to us. Mommy watched 17 of her friends complete full pregnancies and bring their babies home, all while we waited for you. She held back tears when these friends had gender reveal parties and showers, because all she wanted was to know more about you. She couldn’t wait to hold you and to give you all the love you deserve. We already loved you.
While we wait, we can’t help but think of all that we promise to you as you grow in our family.
We promise that, when we meet you, we will absolutely fall in love with your tiny fingers and toes. We will record silly things into your baby book, like the first time you smile and your first taste of avocado.
We promise to always love and honor your birth parents. We promise to share your story with you right from the start, and we promise that it is your story — not ours — to share with others.
We promise that, at age 1, we will help you learn to walk, play, and explore the world around you. We promise lots of attention, conversation, and play dates. We promise to get to know you as a little individual.
At age 2, we will let you get dirty. We will try to ignore the mess long enough to let you fully enjoy your creations in Play-Doh or paint.
On your third birthday, we promise ice cream and balloons, but more importantly, we promise books read on laps and snuggles at 3 AM when you need them.
At age 4, we promise you’ll have plenty of family traditions that you will already be familiar with (and we’re sure you’ll create some yourself, too!). We love pumpkin patches, Halloween costumes, Christmas morning, and family movie nights. Mommy’s movie tastes are (admittedly) lame, but we promise you can have a turn picking, too.
At age 5, as you start kindergarten, we promise cute little signs on our front stoop for first day of school photos and that Mommy will be as involved in your classroom as she can.
At ages 6, 7, and 8, we will be your biggest fans — whether you try soccer, ballet, or violin lessons. We are so excited to see what you’ll enjoy.
At age 9 and 10, we promise to be there. For the scraped knees, the bullies, and the impossible homework — we promise to tackle it together.
At age 11, when somebody tells you that you aren’t good enough, fast enough, or smart enough, we promise to support you as you prove them wrong.
At age 12, when you want to have a more detailed conversation about your birth parents, we promise to fully engage in this conversation. We promise to share all the information we have and to help you to connect with your birthparents whenever you want, if this hasn’t taken place already.
At age 13, when you might feel like some friends are fleeting or may have questionable character, we promise that your sister will always be your friend as well as your sister. This is a non-negotiable in our house. She’s only 3 years old now, but together you two will tackle the world.
When you are 14 years old, you’ll finally realize that we are not perfect. We never promised to be perfect. We know we’ll mess up, but we absolutely promise to apologize and move forward as a family.
Around age 15, we will teach you how to drive. That might be a job for Daddy, as Mommy is a totally nervous passenger.
At age 16, we promise to let you make mistakes. We promise to pick you up from absolutely anywhere (even after your curfew). Always call us.
At age 17, when you are deciding where to take flight out into the world, we promise to be there to catch you if you fall and encourage you as you soar.
At age 18, when you are likely to leave for whatever path you choose, the most important thing is that you know that you can always, ALWAYS, come home.
To our baby (while we wait) — when you join our family, you will be welcomed by so many relatives and loved ones. Your parents have a great support system. Your older sister is kind and active, and she’s excited to teach you everything she knows. We cannot wait to meet you.
If you are pregnant and considering adoption, there are many resources available and people looking to help. You can reach our family by emailing email@example.com.