If you are over the age of 20 and currently wearing yoga pants (unless you’re actually exercising or sitting in the dark by yourself where no one has to actually look at you), then Alan Sorrentino is deeply offended by your outfit choices.
Right now you’re probably wondering, Who even is Alan Sorrentino and why should I care what his (completely wrong) opinion of yoga pants is? The answer: Mr. Sorrentino is a disgruntled Rhode Islander who recently aired his yoga pants grievances via a letter to the editor of The Barrington Times.
In his letter he insists that, “The absolute worst thing to ever happen in women’s fashion is the recent development of yoga pants as daily wear outside the yoga studio. Not since the mini-skirt has there been something worn by so many women who should never have it on in the first place.”
My first thought was that Mr. Sorrentino must be confused about yoga pants, since last I checked yoga pants come in all sizes.
He goes on to say, “From casual to formal, weddings, funerals, shopping, and even for the workplace, yoga pants are everywhere.”
Ummm … what kind of weddings and funerals are you going to, Alan? I have literally never seen anyone in yoga pants at a wedding or a funeral EVER and I live on the West Coast, where shorts and flip flops are acceptable wedding guest attire.
Then it gets even more awkward as he explains that, “Like the mini-skirt, yoga pants can be adorable on children and young women who have the benefit of nature’s blessing of youth. However, on mature, adult women there is something bizarre and disturbing about the appearance they make in public.”
Sorry Alan, but the only bizarre thing here is that you think children look adorable in yoga pants and mini skirts. No. Just no.
As you can imagine, many women took issue with his body-shaming statements and decided that what Mr. Sorrentino really needs is an education about the magnificence that is yoga pants. Which is why local yoga-pants-wearer Jamie Patrice organized a “Peaceful Yoga Pants Parade.” On Sunday, October 23rd, about 400 people gathered together, united by the wearing of yoga pants, and marched right past their friend Alan’s house in Barrington, Rhode Island.
Instead of sitting around and complaining about the ridiculousness of this letter, these women banded together in solidarity to proclaim that wearing yoga pants is their birthright and in the process, they hoped to educate Mr. Sorrentino (and others like him) about the dangers of making sexist and misogynistic comments.
“I want women of all ages, shapes, and sizes to know that it is okay to wear whatever makes them feel comfortable,” Patrice told Yahoo.
Meanwhile, Sorrentino maintains that the letter was written in jest, and that he just wanted a humorous reprieve from all of the political news that’s been in the media lately. He said he even owns a pair. He told WPRO-AM that he’s been receiving death threats, “It’s vicious and intimidating. The fact that this is seen as an appropriate reaction to something I wrote in the paper is really disgusting.”
However, Patrice wanted to make sure everyone knew this was not a hateful protest against Sorrentino, but part of a bigger movement against misogyny. She stressed it was a peaceful celebration of women’s bodies and “our right to cover them however we see fit.”
Ultimately, the parade was hailed a huge success. Aside from empowering men and women alike to love their bodies, they also collected personal hygiene items for Sojourner House, a local domestic violence organization.