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You Just Might Have a Teenager If …

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

Four of my six kids are teenagers. Do you understand the magnitude of that statement? I have FOUR TEENS in my house right now! FOUR! I think I deserve a medal for that. Or a nap. Yes, a nap would be nice. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I absolutely love the goofiness of them, but it’s almost like parenting toddlers all over again. Maybe they no longer melt down if I do something as evil as putting ketchup on their hotdogs, or making them wear shoes when we go to the store, but they certainly have unexplained moodiness and attitudes that occasionally make me wonder if they had lobotomies when I wasn’t looking.

You might have a hard time figuring out if you have teens in your house since you don’t actually see them. They spend all their time in their habitat and communicate with you through texts. (Pro tip: If they do grant you access to their caves, leave their door open a quarter of an inch when you leave. They love that!) So here’s a handy list for your reference. If reading this makes you laugh, you just might have a teenager …

If you walk into the room and see a leaning tower of dirty dishes, you might have a teenager.

If your car insurance bill rivals the national debt, you might have a teenager.

If your phone just buzzed with a text from the kid sitting two yards away from you, you might have a teenager.

If you just went to the grocery store, yet your fridge is empty, you might have a teenager.

If you are reminded daily of just how little you actually know, you might have a teenager.

If you can no longer help your kid with his math homework, you might have a teenager.

If you have no money, you might have a teenager.

If your daughter is making random faces into her phone, you might have a teenager.

If your kid sleeps until noon, you might have a teenager.

If your child converses with you by using grunts, head nods, and eye rolls, you might just be the parent of a teenager.

If your child asks you to drop him off two blocks from school so you don’t embarrass him, you might have a teenager.

If your child is ready for the zombie apocalypse, but not ready for the English exam tomorrow, you might have a teenager.

If you suddenly understand why some members of the animal kingdom eat their young, you might have a teenager.

If you think you finally have freedom (until your kid takes the car anyway), you might have a teenager.

If you drink. A lot. You might have a teenager.

If you have live-in tech support for the TV, your computer, and your phone, you might have a teenager.

If you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Just wait until you have kids!” to your child, you might have a teenager.

If you have to say, “Mow the lawn” 28,000 times before it actually gets mowed, you might have a teenager.

If your kid has the same expression for “bored,” “tired,” “happy,” “sad,” “hungry,” “embarrassed,” and “angry,” you might have a teenager.

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Article Posted 5 years Ago

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