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13 Pet Halloween Costumes That Are Just WRONG

Halloween has officially jumped the shark. Because we’re no longer just dealing with insanely over-sexualized costumes for children, we now have “sexy” costumes for dogs. Um, what?

From “sexy pirate” to “French maid,” pretty much every awful Halloween costume is now available for pets. There are also ones that are just…odd. Like, I’m not sure why anyone would want to dress their dog up as Dora the Explorer. Unless you have a dog that frequently yells “Abre!”? That could work.

Check out our collection of 13 pet Halloween costumes that are just wrong:

  • So wrong. 1 of 14

    Click the arrows to scroll through!

  • French Maid 2 of 14

    "This sexy Dog Costume by Leg Avenue...includes a Black Lace Up Dress with Attached Petticoat," reads the description. No. Just no.

    (Available at Halloween Playground, $21.56)

  • Katy Perry 3 of 14

    While you are struggling to get this thing onto your dog, your phone will ring. And when the person asks what you're doing, you're going to have to say, "I'm putting a cupcake bra on my dog."

    (Available at Amazon, $20.09)

  • Dora the Explorer 4 of 14

    No matter how many pairs of your shoes your dog has destroyed, he can't possibly be as annoying as Dora. On the other hand, if your cat is a hairless breed and happens to be really whiny, you should totally dress it as Caillou.

    (Available from Party City, $14.99)

  • Which would look something like this. 5 of 14

    Why is there no Caillou costume for bald cats? Ugh. I have to think of everything.

    (Original image: iStockphoto. Mad skillz with MS Paint: Joslyn Gray for Babble)

  • The Pope 6 of 14

    While this West Highland White Terrier certainly looks fetching in a mitre (I mean, who doesn't?), I'm still not sure this is okay.

    (Available from Dogtober, $17.81)

  • "Pet Black Afro Wig" 7 of 14

    I don't know exactly what costume is about to happen here, but if it starts with an Afro wig, it's probably not a good idea.

    (Available at Buy Costumes, $6.99)

  • Blonde Ambition-era Madonna 8 of 14

    Gives new meaning to "cone of shame."

    (Available at Dogtober, $30)

  • Marilyn Monroe 9 of 14

    This dog's cleavage is really weirding me out.

    (Available from Amazon, $24)

  • Amy Winehouse 10 of 14

    To be fair, Amy Winehouse was still alive when this photo was taken, which makes it far less macabre than it would be today. But still.

    (Photo Credit: Flickr/Aaron Edwards)

  • Hannibal Lecter (accompanied by silent lambs) 11 of 14

    He looks precious, but really this dog is going to enjoy you with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    (Photo Credit: Flickr/Aaron Edwards)

  • Sexy Pirate 12 of 14

    It's not too bad until you read the costume description: "Sexy Pirate Pet Costume." STAHP, HUMANS.

    (Available from Halloween Playground, $21.56)

  • Teacher’s Pet 13 of 14

    Is it just me, or did everything wrong with Halloween just converge in this one costume?

    (Available from Halloween Playground, $21.56)

  • I know it can be confusing, so here’s a handy guide. 14 of 14

    As a general rule of thumb, if the first adjective used to describe a costume is either "sexy" or "naughty," please don't put it on your dog. It's just...weird. The costume on the right gets extra weirdness points for being called "RayRoy Runny" to avoid copyright infringement. It makes it sound like Scooby Doo is talking about girlie mags. Yep, nothing weird here at all.

    (Left: photo credit, iStockphoto. Right: available from Glamour Dog, $11.97)

Read more from Joslyn on Babble and at her blog, stark. raving. mad. mommy. You can also follow Joslyn on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest.

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