10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From the Doctor Assisting the Delivery of Your Baby

I have a long while before I need to be in the “get ready to give birth” zone. It’s still months and months away. But I do think about it though because I want it to be a memorable, positive experience for me. I’ve had great births and not so great births, but the one thing that’s been pretty standard across the board is that I’ve had really great doctors (or sometimes just nurses) present during the delivery of my children.

There are some people who aren’t so lucky. You get doctors who use scare tactics, have their own agenda in mind, treat you like a number, or just have terrible people skills. I’m not really sure why they get into this profession, but there’s no doubt that some women unfortunately have to deal with these types and their weird quirks.

We all want to be treated like a person, with respect, with care, and we obviously want to be an integral part of a positive birth experience. There are certainly some things we love to hear from our doctor like, “You’re doing a great job!” or, “It’s not going to be long now!” These positive reinforcements can help take us out of our exhausted state.

Then you get some doctors who say the total wrong things that no one wants to hear from anyone assisting in the delivery of your baby.

  • 10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From the Doctor Delivering Your Baby 1 of 11

    There is a lot of trust put into the doctor who is assisting the delivery of your baby, whether a vaginal birth or c-section. There are some things no on wants to hear the doctor say during that time and here are a few!

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

  • "This is a big head." 2 of 11

    Many women in labor are already nervous about what it's going to do "down there" and we don't want to hear that our child has an abnormally-sized head.

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

  • "Ewie!" 3 of 11

    Okay, so we know that birth isn't the cleanest situation and it can sometimes get messy, but that's not something that should even register in the mind of the doctor assisting with your delivery.

    Photo credit: Pleated-Jeans. Used with permission.

  • “Look at this!” 4 of 11

    There are usually a lot of people in the room for a vaginal or c-section birth and we can often feel pretty exposed. It's not fun to be turned into a freak show.

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

  • "Break time!" 5 of 11

    Usually when the doctor's in this position, he's getting ready to catch your baby. There are some doctors who are like this and will push to get the baby out faster so they can go home for the day.

    Photo credit: Pleated-Jeans. Used with permission.

  • "I can’t find it." 6 of 11

    If you've had a c-section, one of the last things you want to hear is that your doctor is missing some instrument after your sutures have been closed. 

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

  • "Where’s my watch?" 7 of 11

    This is just gross. I get grossed out when doctors wear ties (Because honestly, how often do you think they wash those and imagine what's microscopically on them?), but a watch? 


    Photo credit: Pleated-Jeans. Used with permission.

  • "I think this goes here." 8 of 11

    If you're having a c-section and the doctor is closing up, you don't want them guessing where things go back!

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

  • "How many legs are there?!" 9 of 11

    Have you ever had that dream where you gave birth to a 4-legged animal or an alien? I hear it's common in pregnancy and I've certainly had them. This is kind of like that nightmare come true.

    Photo credit: Pleated-Jeans. Used with permission.

  • "This is my first time." 10 of 11

    We like doctors who are experienced in either a vaginal birth or c-section and when you encounter one who's never done the procedure before, well. We both get nervous.

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

  • "Oops." 11 of 11

    It's bad enough to hear that when you're getting your haircut. It's not something that you want to hear when you've got a doctor handling your body and your brand new baby.

    Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

For more funny things no one wants to hear from the doctor delivering their baby, check out Pleated-Jeans

:: what’s something else you don’t ever want to hear from your doctor? ::

Devan is a freelance writer living in Toronto, Ontario with her husband, three kids and expecting baby #4 at the end of this year. Read more from  on Babble and “like” Accustomed Chaos on Facebook!


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