10 Things You Should Never Say to the Couple Struggling to Get Pregnant

When a couple makes the decision to expand their family it can be both an exciting and stressful time. Not only are there the stresses of trying to conceive, the two week wait, the am I pregnant — there is also the stress of “can we get pregnant”.

For many couples, that worry is very real as they see month after month go by without getting pregnant, or staying pregnant long enough for a healthy baby to be born. While infertility discussions are thankfully happening more and more now thanks to couples who are willing to open up their struggles, there is still so much not known about it to many.

Along with the relative silence of infertility comes with it those who have no idea what is hurtful to hear when a couple is having trouble getting pregnant. It’s not being over-sensitive and it’s not really society trying to be mean, it’s often a misunderstanding of what is usually well-meaning, but turns out not to be so helpful.

Click through for 10 things you should never say to a couple struggling to get pregnant:

  • “If you just relaxed…” 1 of 10
    "If you just relaxed..."
    This phrase is widespread like it's some kind of miracle cure for infertility. Relaxing will only go so far.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “It will happen…” 2 of 10
    "It will happen..."
    Most who say this are just trying to reassure the couple, but really it may not help. It may not happen and that's at the forefront of their mind.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “Why don’t you just adopt?” 3 of 10
    "Why don't you just adopt?"
    While adoption is a beautiful and wonderful option for the families who choose it, it may not be for everyone.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “You want another one?” 4 of 10
    "You want another one?"
    This phrase should not be said to any family who is actively trying to conceive. It can be extra annoying to the couple who is trying so hard to make it happen.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “You’re still young.” 5 of 10
    "You're still young."
    There have been couples who it takes years for them to get pregnant, so if they are young now, they may not be years from now while they are still trying. It's basically just telling them in another way to just wait.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “Maybe you’re too old” 6 of 10
    "Maybe you're too old"
    While there is an age where fertility starts to go down, it's not helpful to say this to a couple. If they are older in age, I am sure they are more than worried and don't need the negativity.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “My partner just has to look at me …” 7 of 10
    "My partner just has to look at me ..."
    "... and I get pregnant."If a couple is struggling to get pregnant it may be safe to bet that they have no interest in hearing how easy it is for you.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “I wish I had that problem.” 8 of 10
    "I wish I had that problem."
    Terribly rude to say you would rather be in someone else's shoes, especially when it's obvious they are struggling. If you don't want to be pregnant/didn't want to get pregnant -- keep that to yourself.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “Maybe it’s a sign…” 9 of 10
    "Maybe it's a sign..."
    A sign of what? This phrase does not lead to any positive discussion and you're basically telling them to give up. It's rude and unfair.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • “Are you pregnant yet?” 10 of 10
    "Are you pregnant yet?"
    If you know a couple is trying to have a baby and have been struggling, don't continue to ask them if they are pregnant yet. It will add stress and they will probably let you know if they are, so just wait.
    Photo credit: photostock

Photo credit: modified from photostock

Article Posted 4 years Ago

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