12 Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Woman Who’s Had a C-Section

12 Things You Shouldn't Say to a Woman Who's Had a C-Section It seems that when it comes to any and all aspects of parenting — people feel the need to impose their opinions into things.

Anything from miscarriage-sharing etiquette  birth announcements, birth plan and how you feed your baby seem to be open-game for anyone to share what they think is right and how you’re doing something wrong.

Truth is, most of us make decisions that are educated, thought out and with our own situations in mind. On top of that, there are some situations that arise that are truly out of our control — like birth. It’s unpredictable and while I totally think we should all educate ourselves, release the fear that comes with this natural process and trust our bodies, there are times where it’s the best interest to have a medical intervention.

I have not had a c-section myself so I can’t really say that I’ve been on the receiving end of these comments, but I can empathize. I did have medical interventions during my birth and while I was still able to deliver without surgery, I have had my own births questioned — which never feels ok.

Check out 12 things you shouldn’t say to a woman who’s had a c-section:

  • Not Necessary 1 of 12
    Not Necessary
    "Most c-sections aren't necessary."
    Putting blanket statements on the way a woman birthed her child is not positive and while you may believe this -- that's not likely the time to bring it up.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Made For It 2 of 12
    Made For It
    "Your body is made to birth babies"
    Well, not all women and babies are built the same.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Well, At Least… 3 of 12
    Well, At Least...
    "At least your vagina is still tight! UGH!" - Danielle
    This is just vulgar and implies something that may not be true and implies that a natural birth causes tightness issues.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Well, Not Really 4 of 12
    Well, Not Really
    "You didn't really give birth."
    I don't think I really need to go into why this is so hurtful. Just don't say it... they did birth a baby.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • A Healthy Baby 5 of 12
    A Healthy Baby
    "All that matters is a healthy baby." -- Kayce
    If you say this to someone who has had a c-section, it may imply that you're not being grateful enough. If you're not happy with the birth you had, this phrase can be really irritating and hurtful.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • You Should Try 6 of 12
    You Should Try
    "You should really try to deliver naturally, chances are good the baby will flip. (Baby A was breach my entire pregnancy)" - Natalie
    You don't know the specifics of the case and while you may think that you're educating that they can do it -- they may not and you could be making them feel like they're not "checking into things" or that getting another opinion is a bad thing.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Midwife! 7 of 12
    "If you had a midwife you wouldn't have had a c-section."
    It's like you're blaming the woman and even if it was her choice (vs a medical necessity), it's just not cool to say.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • It Was the Epidural 8 of 12
    It Was the Epidural
    "Maybe if you didn't get the epidural you wouldn't have stalled labor."
    While it's possible that an epidural can stall labor, you're again placing blame and that's not productive.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • You Had it Easy 9 of 12
    You Had it Easy
    "Oh, you had it easy!" (after 30 unsuccessful hours of labour which included baby getting stuck in the birth canal...)" -- Sara
    The decision or need to have one is not usually quickly come by and it's an assumption. No one likes the "who had it harder" blame game!
    Photo credit: iStockPhoto.
  • Planned it? 10 of 12
    Planned it?
    "Did you plan a scheduled c-section?"
    This is usually asked with a look and tone that implies you're totally insane. Some women need to have a planned c-section, some choose and it's not your business.
    Photo credit: iStockPhoto.
  • Failed 11 of 12
    "People trying to console me for having "failed." I didn't feel at all conflicted about my c-section until a LLL leader told me that it was probably why my daughter had trouble latching on - and sounded disgruntled that I hadn't led off with the fact that she had been delivered by a c-section." -- Melissa
    That blame-game is never going to get you anywhere expect an angry look and possible damaged friendship. Many women go through their own "grieving process" if birth didn't go the way they had hoped -- they don't need your blame. Also, not good to assume someone was upset with their c-section.
    Photo credit: iStockPhoto.
  • Induction Caused It 12 of 12
    Induction Caused It
    "It's because your labour was induced." -- Kelly
    While it's true that an induction increases your chances of needing a c-section, it's another blame blanket statement. Truth is you don't really know -- I had inductions for all three of my births and it didn't result in a c-section, but for others it may contribute -- it's different for each women!
    Photo credit: iStockPhoto.

Photo credit: modified from iStockPhoto

:: What would you add to this list? If you had a c-section, what did you hate that people said to you? ::

Article Posted 4 years Ago

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