Everyone loves a baby shower; it’s a huge honor to help a mom-to-be celebrate and prepare to add to her family. But with these celebrations, come many hilarious and sometimes infuriating emotional landmines.
Here are 19 things that secretly happen at every baby shower:
1. Someone spends $400 on ridiculous decorations with tiny plastic babies, giraffes, or whales.
2. Someone thinks that the shower should be a lovely tea party, while someone else thinks it should be at a popular bar and include men. This, of course, causes all kinds of planning issues.
3. Someone causes baby name drama by stealing someone else’s future baby name or making a rude comment about the future baby’s name.
4. Someone has outdone someone else with their elaborate diaper cake, which they stayed up all night constructing.
5. Someone panics about the path of their own life. This is usually a former bridesmaid of the pregnant lady.
6. Someone pukes in the bathroom. Sometimes this is the guest of honor, but usually it’s the person who freaked out about their own life then consumed 18 mimosas (which don’t mix well with tiny cupcakes).
7. Someone announces a pregnancy or brings their new baby. Someone else is annoyed by this distraction from the guest of honor’s day.
8. Someone gives hand-me-downs from their own baby as a gift. Everyone knows these are hand-me-downs, but nobody says anything.
9. Someone gets competitive about their own birth story.
10. Somebody gets competitive about the shower games and ends up actually eating the mushy Snickers bar that was supposed to resemble baby poop.
11. Someone asks inappropriate questions about the baby’s conception.
12. Someone asks awkward questions to the married childless person at the party. Or the person who has a two-year-old and isn’t pregnant again yet.
13. Someone gets judgmental about the birth plan.
14. Somebody is confused. They found your old wedding registry rather than the new baby one, and they’ve purchased a beautiful waffle iron. They’ve now realized the mistake and are ferociously texting their husband to drop off a gift card instead.
15. Somebody gives clothes that are just the right size for a 4-year-old. These will have to be stored by the future parents for 4 YEARS.
16. Somebody becomes an expert on literally everything baby-related. They decide to share this expertise with the unsuspecting attendee to their left, who really just wants to eat a darn cupcake in peace.
17. Someone observes all of this chaos and decides to have their tubes tied.
18. Someone brings a giant teddy bear. Like the size of a couch. The pregnant lady’s best friend quickly removes it before preggo freaks out about the impending house clutter.
Last but not least …
19. It finally sinks in to the expectant parents that this is real — and they get really excited to get home and start arranging their new nursery, giant teddy bear and all!