Hands Down the Weirdest Thing I've Seen: 1963 Patent for 'Birthing Apparatus'Devan McGuinness
I have read some interesting things about birth over the past few years. Since having children and now writing for Being Pregnant I have come across some things for research that really just leave me scratching my head. Some things that are outside my comfort zone, some incredible things and then … I come across this.
An old patent from 1963 called “Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force“. I had to take a second look. Then a third look. Then I had to shake my head in disbelief. It is probably the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Scratch that … it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen.
Patented on November 9, 1965 by George and Charlotte Blonsky, this complicated machine is pretty much just a concrete floor slab with a motor of varying speeds. Using ‘centrifugal force’ the woman is strapped down and spun in a circle. To make things even more classy this machine comes with what looks like a vaginal basket to catch the baby when it’s spun out of the woman.
Still with me?
As you could imagine – at the time of inventing this machine George and Charlotte did not have any of their own children but had thought to have invented this machine after watching elephant give birth. Can’t make this stuff up people.
Want a closer look?
Figure 1 1 of 5Top view of this apparatus complete with the safety zone, straps and mask.
Figure 2 2 of 5Side view of the table - you can see where all the fancy buttons and straps go.
Figure 3 3 of 5Comes complete with a vaginal basket to catch the baby and comfortable (heh) straps for your legs.
Figure 4 4 of 5Side view with the table nearly standing straight up.
Figure 5 5 of 5Side view #2 showing the table's ability to move up - and start the spinning.
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source: United States Patent Office