5 Mother's Day Haikus for my Pregnant WifeJohn Cave Osborne
So Mother’s Day is right around the corner, and I don’t know about you, but when it comes to Mother’s Day gifts, I’ve always believed that the more creative they are, the better. I mean store-bought flowers? Good. But not great. Dinner out? How ever did you come up with that one? What’s that? Breakfast in bed? Looks like someone’s been hard at work at the cliche factory.
That’s why this year, I’ve decided to give my pregnant wife the gift that keeps on giving. That’s right, folks. A haiku. One written especially for a pregnant woman. Only I’m worried that she won’t like them, so I’ve taken the liberty of penning five so she can pick her favorite one. Without further ado, here they are:
The Belly and What it Wants
It doesn’t look big.
Who cares even if it did?
Yes. I bought ice cream.
Haiku #2: Waiting at the OB GYN
It’s been an hour.
Starting to get old. OK.
Won’t watch the weigh in.
Haiku #3: At Least We Know Who’s Driving
AH! Cocktail party.
Lame that you’re pregnant and all.
‘Preciate the ride!
Haiku #4: Ode to Your Cervix
Thrilled to hear 38, dear.
Or, haiku #5: The Fortunate Son
Inside you, my dear
Yet another lucky child,
’cause he’ll call you Mom.
I have a hunch she’ll opt for number 5. I’d love to read any pregnancy haikus you might wanna leave in the comments. And Happy Mother’s Day!