I wish I could tell you that pregnancy is all butterflies and perfect belly shots, with a side of fun cravings. I’d be lying however. Pregnancy, sometimes, it just plain gross and embarrassing.
Also unsexy. It’s a wonder any of us ever procreate more than once after going through this. And our partners have to deal with it as well. You’d think after the first they’d be like, “Whoa, no, that’s ok. Once was enough for me.”
Yet so many of us still want more kids. It must be that once it’s all over, we have little bundles of screaming cute that steal our hearts and make us forget that hurling up Cheerios on a daily basis while trying not to pee our pants is pretty darn awful, no matter which way you spin it, or how darling you look doing it.
So I’m sharing my most unsexy moments in hopes that someone else reading will get a laugh and not feel so alone as your husband rolls you over for the 12th time to stop you from snoring at 2am.
image-3307 1 of 6Click through to see the moments that won't be so easy to forget...
Uniboob 2 of 6I can't fit into any regular bras anymore, and I'm so sore I really don't want to. I've switched to some of my super comfortable nursing bras, but those leave me with a giant lump of breast across me that also extend out. As in touching my arms. Lovely.
Snoring 3 of 6Poor Sam. I snore so badly while pregnant. I wake up multiple times a night for a few reasons: because my snoring woke me up, because he's rolling me over to stop snoring, and because I'm terrified I am snoring and he has to get up so early for work. I haven't ever heard myself, but waking up with a sore throat and a mouth as dry as the Sahara means something major is going on there.
I Like Big Butts 4 of 6We all know things are going to fit less/not fit when we get pregnant and after. Things expand and change and some just never go back to normal. HOWEVER. I have the experience this time around of my underwear being too tight. Underpants people. I can't blame this on the baby, maybe on my hips expanding but even then. Unlike jeans, tight underwear isn't due to leaving them in the dryer longer than needed. It's due to french fries.
Itches 5 of 6So I had an allergic reaction of sorts. To the P17 (progesterone) shots, which are given in my, ahem, rear. So you can imagine how uncomfortable that is, and it itches. I mean, itches so bad. I actually had to tell the OB about it when it got worse after a few days. Sam was the one to point out that it wasn't "just a lump from the injection" but rather like a baseball sized patch of red and swollen. Because nothing says "sexy lady" like swollen itchy patches on your rear.
Sneezing 6 of 6I'm not sure if this is due to it being so dry and dusty here, but I have never in my life sneezed as much as I do this pregnancy. Not only that, but to make it worse I tend to sneeze things out, meaning I carry a wad of Kleenex with me at all times. It's sudden and there is almost no way to stop it, further telling everyone around me, "Look how gross this can be."
Your turn – what are some of your most unappealing pregnancy moments?