I swear, when you struggle with infertility and have the hardest time ever getting pregnant, it seems every woman around you gets knocked up simply by being in the same room as men. It can get totally discouraging.
It does for me.
And then I read a story like this one from Fox News: A 60-year-old woman gives birth to twins. And suddenly I’m all like, “Great, even old ladies are getting pregnant before me.”
But as I read on, I learn she became pregnant after IVF. At 60.
There was a time in my life not all that long ago when I would have rolled my eyes and thought, “What is wrong with people these days?!” But then I experienced firsthand with my own fertility struggles how difficult it can be to get pregnant, and I kind of think, “Good for her.”
But only kind of.
There’s so much to this story. The woman lives in China, a country with a decades-long one-child policy. And she apparently isn’t able to bathe the babies on her own because “she’s no longer able to undertake physical tasks,” so says another source reporting on the story, Australia News Online.
And she’s 60.
My mother is a grandmother to my sibling’s kids, and she hasn’t yet turned 60. Sure, she’s on the young side for grandmotherhood. But still. You see my point.
It’s unclear why this woman was approved for IVF–which is how she became pregnant: knowingly, willingly–but we know she previously lost a child tragically. She says she wanted another baby to “survive and free myself of the loneliness.”
Perhaps she’s a bit selfish. I mean, this reason seems hardly an ideal one–especially given her age. But we know all too well the poor and selfish reasons women have babies (“Teen Mom,” anyone?). Heck, I’ve had haters tell me it’s selfish to bring a child into this world with no father. That it’s selfish to undergo IVF when there are so many children to adopt in this world. Maybe it’s selfish to have kids at 60. Maybe it’s selfish to have a kid in this day and age, period.
Is it fair? I don’t know. What’s fair in this world anymore?
I’m surprised how much I can relate to this 60-year-old mom. Having a hole in your heart from losing a baby (or two). Undergoing fertility treatments to become a mother. The desperation to make your family whole. Judgment of your choices.
She also strangely inspires me. While I’d never drag this journey to motherhood on into my 60s, I can’t help but think: If she can do it at 60, I can do it at almost 36.
At least, that’s what I keep telling myself…
And don’t miss a post!