7 Important Lessons My Multiple Miscarriages Have Taught Me

The house is quiet, everyone is already asleep. I should be too because it’s past 2 in the morning, but I know I won’t get to sleep for a few more hours yet. Insomnia and I are like best friends, only I can’t stand him and he just doesn’t know when to leave me alone. There are times where I can get away for a few weeks, but when things like this happen — miscarriage again — the insomnia comes flooding back into my bedroom and I sit awake for hours. A combination of over-thinking and being afraid to fall asleep — where the nightmares live.

I have been through a lot in my journey to complete our family — more than my fair share if I can say that myself. It has been hard, it will continue to be hard, but I have learned a lot along the way too. Sure, most of these lessons are ones I would have much preferred to learn a different way, maybe in not such a painful way. But, this is my story — it’s my experience and I have learned some important lessons on my journey through grief and loss:

  • I Am Strong 1 of 6
    I Am Strong
    I never gave myself credit for just how strong I am. Physically and emotionally. I survived and thrived even when I thought it would be impossible.
    Photo credit: jans canon on Flickr
  • It Is Okay to Cry 2 of 6
    It Is Okay to Cry
    Even though I am strong, I learned that being strong is also letting it out. It's okay to cry, it's okay to 'break' and it's okay to ask for help.
    Photo credit: wjlonien on Flickr
  • Community Is Important 3 of 6
    Community Is Important
    I have always been a 'do it myself' kind of person. When I founded Unspoken Grief last year, this amazing community has grown. People who have been touched by grief coming together to help lift each other up when we feel like we're falling... it has been incredible to watch grow.
    Photo credit: wjlonien on Flickr
  • Small Stuff Doesn’t Matter 4 of 6
    Small Stuff Doesn't Matter
    The kid coloring on the wall -- doesn't matter. The chaos in the background is music to my ears. The common but not serious pregnancy complaints don't register to me. The small things just don't matter, I can see past the annoyances and realize it's just not that big of a deal.
    Photo credit: oatsy40 on Flickr
  • Everyone Has a Story 5 of 6
    Everyone Has a Story
    There are so many of us with a story that can have an impact. I have heard from many who shared their stories with me that have had profound meaning. You may never know what internal struggles someone is going through -- the invisible mask of grief. You never know what someone is struggling with and just how strong they are. I've learned to listen to the silence. Listen to the words that are unspoken, but so badly want to be said.
    Photo credit: shefi on Flickr
  • Grief Is Important, Real and Healing 6 of 6
    Grief Is Important, Real and Healing
    There is still a stigma about miscarriage and grief. It's real, though, and I know it very strongly. I know that is important to acknowledge the grief in the room, give it a voice and the healing that can come from it is so important.
    Photo credit: kurtbudiarto on Flickr

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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