7 Things I’ve Gotten Tired of Hearing After a Year of Trying to Conceive

7 Things I've Gotten Tired of Hearing After a Year of Trying to ConceiveWhen I started writing on Babble Pregnancy over a year ago, I was deep in baby fever mode and wanted to add to our family. I wrote a lot about getting my husband on board with another child, preparing to get pregnant, and everything in between.

Just over a year ago, we decided it was finally time for us to expand the family. We had all the personal before-we-get-pregnant-again check lists done and we were in a great space (in all areas) to add another human to our crazy mix.

It’s been a year since then and we’re now struggling with something new — infertility. I’ve had my fair share of difficult pregnancies and our own obstacles to get through, but this is a new one for us. I think we’re doing a great job at staying positive while still healthfully expressing any upset over the fact that this is harder than we had anticipated.

I’ve taken this conversation to real life and online, sharing my feelings, both good and bad, and discussing the whole gamut of what it’s like to battle infertility. I’ve gained so much incredible support from so many people. I’ve heard stories of success, obstacles, and triumphs from others that have brought me so much strength.

While talking about infertility has overall been a positive experience, there are a handful of comments I’ve heard from well-meaning people that I am SO over.  Have a look at the 7 things I’m tired of hearing after a year of trying to conceive:

  • Maybe If You Just …. 1 of 7
    Maybe If You Just ....
    Ah the unsolicited advice! People love to give it and usually it's so generic like "just relax" and it never helps anyone. I know there are stories of how some couples "just stopped trying" and it happened, but that's not for everyone. The advice that sounds like I'm doing something wrong don't go over well with me.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Why Do You Keep Trying? 2 of 7
    Why Do You Keep Trying?
    I want another child and it's this deep pull for it. I have grown tired of people wondering why I am "still trying" after so many losses, issues in the way and because I have kids already and "should be grateful".
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Are You Pregnant Yet? 3 of 7
    Are You Pregnant Yet?
    I've had some people ask me because they know we've been trying for some time. They ask like it's the most simple thing in the world with a tone that we just don't know what we're doing. Trust me, we do. When we are, you'll know.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • You Already Have Three Kids 4 of 7
    You Already Have Three Kids
    There are some people who have expressed their confusion with me for trying to conceive when I "already have" three kids. All I can say to that is the heart wants what the heart wants and it's best for someone to leave their strange judgments on family size to themselves.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • Are You Depressed? 5 of 7
    Are You Depressed?
    You know, I haven't been asked this a lot, but a few times over the year. It all seems to be related to when I write about my feelings here on Babble or my personal blog. There seems to be a stigma over talking about infertility and apparently you can't discuss how you're down about it without being told you're depressed. I'm not, I assure you, but I do healthily allow myself to feel what ever I am feeling -- sad, happy, angry or whatever.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • You Want More Kids? 6 of 7
    You Want More Kids?
    People seem surprised that someone would want more than 1 or 2 kids and are quite confused when a family plans to add to their family.
    Photo credit: photostock.
  • You Didn’t Ovulate / You’re Not Pregnant 7 of 7
    You Didn't Ovulate / You're Not Pregnant
    Things are getting better which is totally awesome and I am holding on to that. However, it's been a year of negative tests and blood tests that show I wasn't ovulating, it' gets tiring after a while.
    Photo credit: photostock.

Photo credit: adapted from iStockphoto


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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