A Pregnancy Book for Pregnancy Book Haters

Awwww! Nothing's more endearing than a newborn baby with laser beam eyes!

The first thing I did upon finding out that my eggo was preggo was wrangle a couple of my closest friends and head down to Powell’s Books here in Portland to overwhelm myself with their massive wall of pregnancy books.  I stood there slack-jawed for about an hour as women with rotund bellies passed us by.  I’m sure the passersby were concerned with my future fetus’ well-being.  “What kind of mother is that poor girl going to be if she can’t even manage to choose a pregnancy book?”  Finally I just grabbed “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”, because that’s the only pregnancy book I’d ever actually heard of before (not exactly stellar criteria for choosing a book, but whatever).

Lucky for me my friend Jamie knows me well had the forethought to purchase the book Let’s Panic About Babies! for me while we were there.  She must’ve known that at some point in the not-so-distant future I’d be laying in bed poring over all the “dont” lists in “What To Expect” and have a freak out moment where I just needed a good laugh and a dose of sarcasm about my impending motherhood.

LET’S PANIC ABOUT BABIES! How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant Who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being by Alice Bradley & Eden M. Kennedy is a tongue-in-cheek approach to pregnancy.  It’s laugh-out-loud funny and had me bugging my husband every 30 seconds to read some hilarious excerpt or another.  An example of this:

Fourth Month:  Now Everyone Knows You Did It:

What’s going on up in there?

Guess who’s peeing inside you?  Your baby, that’s who.  Try not to let this freak you out too badly.  If you ingest only distilled water and celery, your baby’s pee will be…well, slightly  less disgusting to fathom.  In addition to whizzing all over your insides, your baby is busily growing a coarse, light-brown fur.  He’s developing sharp claw-like digits, too-the better to cling to your uterus.  You can’t shake him loose now!”

Awesome, no?

I’m a recovering Type-A, worrier and if you’re anything like me pregnancy can seem like a daunting 9 months of worry and stress.  Thankfully I have this book to help me laugh when I can’t possibly read another list of pregnancy “don’ts”.

Do you have any books that have saved your sanity during pregnancy?  I’m all ears!

{Buy this book at Amazon}

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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