Does Everyone Connect Babies Names and Meanings? Or Is That Just a Mariah Carey Thing?

Caroline's "name bracket."

I gotta get something off my chest. Caroline and I are making absolutely no headway when it comes to names. This is nothing new for us. On the eve of the triplets birth? Do y’all have a name yet? our favorite nurse had asked. No, I answered, but we are in the final stages of deliberation. Which was true. Essentially all we needed was a grease board and 45 effective minutes. Once we were given both, BOOM, the triplets had names.

This time? We’re really struggling. And I recently read an article about the names belonging to Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s twins (Monroe and Morcoccan) which has me even more concerned. Because if we have to attach a funky meaning to our names? We’re really screwed.

According to, Mariah and Nick weren’t just doing the standard celebrity / strange-baby-name thing when they came up with their unusual choices. They actually meant something. Nick explains to E!:

“When you first hear it, it’s kind of funny because we hear Moroccan and Monroe, you don’t know which one’s the boy and which one’s the girl. But once you kind of let it sit for a minute, you can understand the whole thing. Monroe, obviously, is named by Marilyn Monroe, who my wife has been inspired by and loved for many years. And my son, I love his name, we called him Moroccan … And you think about Moroccan and that’s kind of like my name and Mariah’s name phonetically together. I also proposed to my wife in our Moroccan room. There’s a lot of meanings to it. We put a lot of thought into those names. I think we did a good job on the names. They ain’t gonna be mad at us when they grow up.”

While I’ll leave it to Nick’s children to weigh in on that last point, I will say this: Grand Finale, for better or for worse, will have no such story behind his eventual name. (Unless, of course, we go with Grand Finale.)

Because Caroline and I can’t even settle on a name that we both like, much less one that we like that also has some artsy-fartsy meaning. I know what you’re thinking, for we, too, got engaged in our house, but sorry folks—Laundry Room Osborne is officially out. So, too, is Carojohn. And Jonoline.

Caroline wants to go with Alex for a first name. (No meaning. She just likes the name Alex.) And though she’s not assigned a middle name to it just yet, I’ve pretty much shot it down. Because we already have an Alli and I’m not big on the matchy-matchy name deal. Alli and Alex are just too close for my taste.

Me? I like Graham Fiser (One of my sister’s names combined with Caroline’s maiden name—a long i and z sound—Fi-zer) for two reasons. First, both are family names and, second, the initials serve as a bit of a double entendre for Grand Finale, which our unexpected miracle will undoubtedly prove to be.

But Caroline thinks the name “peaked too early” in the baby-naming process. (What is this, the NFL regular season?) She also knows firsthand how many people mispronounce her maiden name (hence my lengthy explanation), so that one probably won’t make the cut, either. Which means as of now, we have absolutely no direction on the names.

Just this weekend, I saw Caroline walking around with what I assumed was her March Madness bracket. But it turned out to be some kind of genealogy deal which, quite literally, lists nearly one hundred options for us were we want to use family names. But so far, none have leapt out to us. And even if one were to, there’s no way it’ll have some kind of tacit meaning to it.

So, I’ll end this post as I started it. Caroline and I are making absolutely no headway when it comes to names. Any chance, you think, of us outsourcing this task to that Stork fellow?

visit John Cave Osborne’s personal blog.

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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