Getting Pregnant After a Miscarriage: 7 Things I’m Anxious About

It’s been 3 months and 12 days since I lost my twins at 17-weeks pregnant. It feels like a lifetime ago, and yet, at the same time, it feels like yesterday. My doctors still have no answers as to why my water broke during my second trimester. And I’m not overly concerned with searching for an answer. I believe, truly, that sometimes these things really do just happen.

Just last week, I was given the green light to have my frozen embryo transfer this coming Friday. I was thrilled to hear the news — and I still am, don’t get me wrong! I want to have a baby and become a mother so badly. But these past two mornings, I’ve woken up feeling very anxious and nervous about getting pregnant again. I am so excited by the thought, but I’m actually also a little bit scared.

And here’s why.

  • I’m Ready to Try Again, But I Do Have Concerns 1 of 8
    I'm Ready to Try Again, But I Do Have Concerns
    Having a miscarriage changes things...
    Original Photo: iStockphoto
  • Miscarrying Again 2 of 8
    Miscarrying Again
    While I keep trying to tell myself that the likelihood of lightning striking twice is rare, I still can't help but be concerned that I'll lose my next pregnancy too.
    Photo: iStockphoto
  • Comparing This Pregnancy to My Last 3 of 8
    Comparing This Pregnancy to My Last
    I loved being pregnant. Absolutely loved it. It helped that it was picture perfect up until my loss at 17 weeks. This next go-round, I'm worried that I'll compare every little difference, taking away the special-ness of my next pregnancy.
    Photo is of me, three days before my water broke and I lost my twins at 17 weeks, 1 day.
  • What it Will Feel Like at 17 Weeks — and Beyond 4 of 8
    What it Will Feel Like at 17 Weeks — and Beyond
    I breezed through the first trimester with ease, so I'm feeling pretty good about getting through that period again. But I'm nervous about what it will feel like to hit 17 weeks, which is when I lost my twins, and whether I'll feel less anxious after that or if I'll worry my entire pregnancy. I'm also worried that I'll be so preoccupied with "making it through" this pregnancy, that I'll forget to enjoy it.
    Photo: iStockphoto
  • Wearing the Same Maternity Clothes 5 of 8
    Wearing the Same Maternity Clothes
    It will be strange to put on the same maternity clothes that I wore during my last pregnancy. I remember how weird it felt to put on the sweater I wore to the hospital when I lost my twins for the first time again. I wonder if wearing these maternity clothes again will feel similar to that.
    Photo: iStockphoto
  • Guilt 6 of 8
    I can't help but feel a little as though getting pregnant again means I've forgotten about my twins. Moving on as right as I know it is is hard.
    Photo: iStockphoto
  • Increased Doctor Appointments 7 of 8
    Increased Doctor Appointments
    Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a fan of doctors. This fertility journey and all the appointments, procedures, and medications have put me a bit out of my comfort zone, but I know it's what I must do. And because of my second-trimester pregnancy loss, this next pregnancy will be deemed high risk so I'll have appointments at my fertility center until week 11, then a 12-week appointment at my regular OB, then a 15-week appointment, a 17-week appointment, a 20-week appointment, and then an appointment once a week, every week, until the baby is born.
    Photo: iStockphoto
  • Attachment Issues 8 of 8
    Attachment Issues
    My biggest fear is that I'll have a hard time connecting with this pregnancy out of the fear that I might lose the baby again.
    Photo: iStockphoto


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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