I Feel Stupid for Asking This But…Monica Bielanko
When I was pregnant, especially the first time, I had SO many questions. I’d ask those questions but quickly learned my lesson when a group of women scoffed at me for not knowing what, to them, should’ve been an obvious answer.
Turns out the answer wasn’t so obvious, but they made me feel stupid anyway.
My question: how much caffeine is okay to drink a day while pregnant?
The women to whom I posed this question acted like it was the silliest thing ever for me to ask. They responded with, you shouldn’t have ANY caffeine, DUH. That sounded ridiculous to me and it turns out, that as with most things that involve pregnancy, the answer from allegedly well-meaning individuals is very subjective and should instead be entirely up to you and what feels right for you, not your mom, your sister, your best friend or your mother-in-law, YOU. Unless what feels right to you is sneaking cigarettes and Vodka in the still of the night… and then I advise checking in with your doctor. But still, not your mother-in-law. Of course, at the next visit to my doctor she confirmed that my two-Diet-Coke-a-day habit was perfectly fine.
And then there was the poop problem. My greatest fear about giving birth was not an emergency c-section. It was pooping on the doctor. I gathered my courage and at my 38 week appointment asked: “I feel stupid for asking this but do women always poop during labor? Have you ever been pooped on?”
His answer was reassuring. To paraphrase: No, women don’t always poop and if they did poop on me I wouldn’t notice because there are so many other things going on at that time. Plus, the nurse whisks it away in seconds.
I got the distinct feeling he gets asked that question a lot.
So… Let’s get a good comment thread going here about the questions you feel (or felt) so stupid about asking. Nobody knows better than a bunch of pregnant or previously pregnant gals who have stories to share! If we get enough questions and answers this comment section could be a gold mine for women wondering if the giant bumps on their nipples or their fear of pooping after pushing a giant human out of their business is normal. Or, I refuse to let my husband watch the baby’s head come out because I don’t want him to see my jacked up vajayjay! Is that normal? Because yes, girlfriend. It is normal. And you shouldn’t feel stupid for asking but I know… It can be tough to ask sometimes.
What question did you feel the “stupidest” about asking while pregnant?