8 Tips on How to Keep the Romance Alive While Trying to Conceive

Now that I have spilled the beans that my husband and I are having lots of sex (to make a baby) I thought I would kill any ideas that you may have that we are having the best time ever with the new ‘have to have sex to make wife pregnant’ thing. Truth … baby-making sex is not really that fun. Spontaneous sex = awesome. Scheduled sex for when my cervical mucus is ‘ideal’ = not so much.

Baby-making sex can take a toll on a relationship. Stress of being intimate for the sole purpose to create a life plays on both partners and the joy of it all can go out the window fast. My husband and I have had our fair share of what we coin ‘chore sex’ in order to have the children we do. I remember one week while trying to conceive our youngest — it was hot as heck out and we were in fertile zone and had to ‘get it done’. Sexy, right?

Romance, communication, and connection are important factors in a healthy relationship and those should not change just because the ‘goal’ of sex shifts from mostly pleasure to more ‘put baby in my uterus’. Here are 8 tips on how to keep the romance alive while trying to make a baby:

  • Take It Out Of The Bedroom 1 of 8
    You need to break your routine to keep the spark alive. Take it out of the bedroom, do it during the day or in the morning instead of before bed. Experiment with new and fun things.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Both Be In Charge of Signs 2 of 8
    I have an app on my phone that I use to track basal body temp and all that jazz. My husband has it on his phone as well and can take a peek for when our fertile times are. Both being in charge of watching for the signs takes the pressure off the woman and makes it about both of you.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Make It Also About Pleasure 3 of 8
    Baby-making sex can be stressful if that's all you're thinking about. Don't forget that sex should bring pleasure, make you and your partner feel connected and that's what will help the spark. Enjoy the whole thing, not just the end goal.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Don’t Play The Blame Game 4 of 8
    If pregnancy is taking longer then you'd hoped, don't play the blame game. This can bring on a whole new level of stress and it's important to communicate and be on the same team.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Have No-Sex Dates 5 of 8
    When the relationship's main focus is 'sex to make baby' it can be hard to talk about anything else. Make sure you schedule away some time for 'no-sex' dates with your partner. Make it fun and that may bring the super desire to get in the sack for the pleasure not just the baby-making.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Have Sex Outside Fertile Window 6 of 8
    You don't have to lose the spontaneity when you're trying to conceive. Fertile zone is usually no longer then a week (and that's giving extra space) so use the other days to be spontaneous, out of routine and yes, still have sex then too.
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Take a Mini-Vacation 7 of 8
    Plan a weekend away - whether you're in your fertile zone or not and reconnect. Disconnect from the phones, internet, email and other people and focus on you. It can help rejuvenate the spark!
    Photo credit: photostock
  • Keep The Humor 8 of 8
    It's kind of funny - we spend so much time when we're younger NOT wanting to get pregnant but wanting sex. Now we want to get pregnant but sometimes the desire for sex is gone. Keep the humor, keep talking and sometimes it's okay to just refer to it as what it is ... 'chore sex'.
    Photo credit: photostock


Article Posted 6 years Ago

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