Growing a Large FamilyMolly Thornberg
My husband and I married 13 years ago. He comes from a family of 6 kids, and myself a family of 3 kids. When we talked in our early marriage years of what we wanted for our family, we both agreed a large family is what we wanted, despite society’s perception of more than 2 children as “too much work”. I remember telling a friend who had asked how many kids we wanted “4 would be great”. The look and response I got from her – she thought I was down right insane!
As our family grows, it’s not easy but I don’t think life was meant to be easy. It’s all in the planning to keep our life managed, not expecting much now but keeping focused on the rewards of the future.
We spent many years planning and waiting to see if our plans would work out as we hoped. Life threw some curve balls at us with infertility 2 times and then surprised by unplanned pregnancies while on birth control. Each challenge has brought us to where we are now. We are “Mom” and “Dad” to our large family of 3 children soon to be 4. We couldn’t be more happy with what the future holds. That being said, our dream is not the popular dream. What has happened to the large family concept?
As a working mom who is pregnant, with 3 other kids in various schooling and activities life is busy. I have a great husband who is an awesome co-parent. But there are sarcrifices.
We knew that there would be many and obstacles that 4 children can bring to the table. The $169 round-trip deal to Las Vegas would of been a no-brainer a few years ago for me and the husband to get away. Now a days, our get away is a good movie late at night or the occasional date night when we can bribe a family member into watching the little ones. Our carpet and house is always dirty. The kids may not be dressed to the nines. Sleeping until 10 am is considered sleeping in. Going out to eat is a circus.
But does that all really matter? Our family has unity and connection that money and materialism can’t replace. There is no happy pill that could fill my heart with more love than these little people we’ve created.
My husband and I often talk about the day, 30 years from now when our house is full of our children and grandchildren. Sure, we will pay the price now with time, stress and money – but we are placing our bets that it will be worth it in the end. It may not be the answer for every family, but for ours this is our dram.
I find it interesting how many people comment to me, “I wish we had another baby, BUT…..”. The “but” is then followed with a list of excuses, everything from age to money to stress. I want to live my life with no regrets. Lord willing.
The Average Family has 2 Children (source: cia.gov).
2 children is the average family size. Is it money? Time? Stress?
Rarely do I hear of families having more than 4 children. If there are more than that, they are always labeled so. “Oh you know Stephanie, she’s the one with 5 children.” Or they have their own reality show. (PS. Not that we are planning for 19, but I heart the Duggars.)
What Has Happened to the Large Family? Is it a Dying Idea?