10 Funny Stories of Parents Having “The Talk” with Their Kids

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

“Mommy, where do babies come from?”

As a parent, you know, you’ll eventually be asked this question, but are you ever really prepared for it when the time comes? Moreover, how do you explain the truth to an innocent toddler who’s still trying to cope with the fact that he’s now living life diaper- and bottle-less?

Enter, creative parents. From babies made of Play-Doh and trees, to newborns being delivered from butts and belly buttons, moms and dads have come up with some pretty hilarious answers to this age-old question.

1. Daddy, How Could You?!

My 5-year-old son asked me: “My balls…uh, scrotum…has stuff that makes babies? How does it get to the mommy to make a baby?” I decided to give it to him straight: “When mommy and daddy are ready to have a baby, the daddy puts his penis inside the mommy’s vagina.” My son was horrified: “No, no, no! Oh Mommy, that is horrible! How could you let Daddy do that to you?” No comment.
— Submitted by Jen, Kid Scoop Blogger

2. Play-Doh Babies

My husband told my daughter we made her from Play-Doh, so now she’s been asking for a little brother and sister, and is offering her help to make them!
— Submitted by Lindsey Williamson

3. Cabbage Patch Kids

My mum and grandma used to tell me they found me under a gooseberry bush and that’s where I came from.
— Submitted by Sarah Louise Smith Cole

4. Piece of Cake

Mommies have a seed or egg and daddies water it, then the babies bake like a cake. For a long time. We will working on the “watering” part when he gets older, but for now, it suffices.
— Submitted by Kathryn Winkler Beach

5. The Butts Have It

I have a picture of me pushing out my second child, and it’s a side angle so my kids think they came out of my butt.
— Submitted by Stephanie Anderson

6. The Science Of Baby-Making

We told our daughter the truth. “Well, a doctor took something from mommy and something from daddy, mixed it up in a petri dish, and then put it in mommy and that was you!” Heh. Also, please note: if your 5-year-old requests to see videos of how babies are born and she was born by c-section, do not show her c-section videos. Not that I did that. Nope. Not me.
— Submitted by Cecily Kellogg

7. A Gift From The Heavens

God put her in my belly and the doctors took her out.
— Submitted by Liz Rosenberg

8. The Mechanics Of Sex

My first-grader came home from school one day and told me she knew what sex was. And I asked, “well, what is sex?” She said that it is when you drive a car into the garage. After that, I told her the truth about how it worked.
— Submitted by Cindy McDaniel

9. Store-Bought Babies

My mom used to tell me that she bought me from a store where you can buy babies in boxes.
— Submitted by Fidan Stella

10. Luke, I Am Your Father

My kids knew the basics, but when I was in line with my 8-year-old son for the premier of Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, I realized he was about to witness the birth of Luke and Leia. In line at the movie theater I quickly told him how babies COME OUT so he would be ready. Not ideal, but it got the job done with minimal traumatization.
— Submitted by Kacy Faulconer


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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