15 Funny Stories of Parents Having “The Talk” with Their Kids

“Mommy, where do babies come from?”

As a parent, you know, you’ll eventually be asked this question, but are you ever really prepared for it when the time comes? Moreover, how do you explain the truth to an innocent toddler who’s still trying to cope with the fact that he’s now living life diaper- and bottle-less?

Enter, creative parents. From babies made of Play-Doh and trees, to newborns being delivered from butts and belly buttons, moms and dads have come up with some pretty hilarious answers to this age-old question. — Dana Vogel

Click through to find out how Babble bloggers and readers have explained the birds and the bees to their kids!

  • Daddy, how could you?! 1 of 15
    Daddy, how could you?!
    My 5-year-old son asked me: "My balls ... uh, scrotum ... has stuff that makes babies? How does it get to the mommy to make a baby?" I decided to give it to him straight: "When a mommy and a daddy are ready to have a baby, the daddy puts his penis inside the mommy's vagina." My son was horrified: "No, no, no! Oh Mommy, that is horrible! How could you let Daddy do that to you?" No comment.
    Jen, Kid Scoop blogger
  • Play-Doh babies 2 of 15
    Play-Doh babies
    My husband told my daughter we made her from Play-Doh, so now she's been asking for a little brother and sister, and is offering her help to make them!
    Submitted by Lindsey Williamson
  • Cabbage Patch kids 3 of 15
    Cabbage Patch kids
    My mum and grandma used to always tell me they found me under a gooseberry bush and that's where I came from.
    Submitted by Sarah Louise Smith Cole
  • Piece of cake 4 of 15
    Piece of cake
    Mommies have a seed or egg and daddies water it, then the babies bake like a cake for a long time. We will work on the "watering" part when he gets older, but for now, it suffices.
    Submitted by Kathryn Winkler Beach
  • The butts have it 5 of 15
    The butts have it
    I have a picture of me pushing out my second child, and it's a side angle so my kids think they came out of my butt!
    Submitted by Stephanie Anderson
  • The science of baby-making 6 of 15
    The science of baby-making
    We told our daughter the truth. "Well, a doctor took something from mommy and something from daddy, mixed it up in a petri dish, and then put it in mommy and that was you!" Heh. Also, please note: if your five-year-old requests to see videos of how babies are born and she was born by c-section, do not show her c-section videos. Not that I did that. Nope. Not me.
    Cecily Kellogg, Momcrunch blogger
  • A gift from the heavens 7 of 15
    A gift from the heavens
    God put her in my belly and the doctors took her out.
    Submitted by Liz Rosenberg
  • The mechanics of sex 8 of 15
    The mechanics of sex
    My first-grader came home from school one day and told me she knew what sex was. And I asked, "Well what is sex?" She said that it is when you drive a car into the garage. After that, I told her the truth about how it worked.
    Submitted by Cindy McDaniel
  • Store-bought babies 9 of 15
    Store-bought babies
    My mom used to tell me that she bought me from a store where you can buy babies in boxes.
    Submitted by Fidan Stella
  • Luke, I am your father 10 of 15
    Luke, I am your father
    My kids knew the basics but when I was in line with my 8-year-old son for the premier of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, I realized he was about to witness the birth of Luke and Leia. In line at the movie theater I quickly told him how babies COME OUT so he would be ready. Not ideal, but it got the job done with minimal traumatization.
    Kacy Faulconer, Kid Scoop blogger
  • Tight squeeze 11 of 15
    Tight squeeze
    I'm 34 weeks pregnant, and I told my son he would come out of my belly button.
    Submitted by Megan Stewart Arthur
  • Nature’s miracle 12 of 15
    Nature's miracle
    When I was a kid, my mom told me I grew from a tree.
    Submitted by Chiagozie Ezea
  • The seed of life 13 of 15
    The seed of life
    I told my four-year-old daughter that Daddy gave Mommy a seed and Mommy has an egg and when they meet, they grow in my uterus until it's time for the baby to come out. She didn't compare me to a chicken, but she asked, "So I came from a seed?"
    Submitted by Sarah Richards Casey
  • All you need is love 14 of 15
    All you need is love
    I told my daughter that she and her sister are made from love. I'll give more details as she asks, but for now, that satisfied her.
    — Submitted by Melissa J. McGuffey
  • Safe and sound 15 of 15
    Safe and sound
    If my son ever asks me where babies come from, I'll probably just say that Daddy put it in my belly because he wanted another baby and knew mommy would keep it safe while it grew big enough to be held. (We'll save the big talk for Daddy when he gets older.)
    Submitted by Brandy Schmidt

More on Babble: Everyone’s got junk! 12 funny things kids say about their genitals (and yours)

Article Posted 4 years Ago

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