My Quest for Cleavage: A Totally Selfish Reason I Can't Wait to be Pregnant

Yes. It’s true. I want to get pregnant so my breasts will get bigger.

Now, before you all berate me and say it’s women like me who shouldn’t have children, you should know that bigger breasts aren’t my only reason for wanting to be pregnant. I mean, come on. With all the planning, doctor appointments, money, and overall thought that goes into this IVF pregnancy, you can rest assured that I’m ready as ever to be a mom. And before you rush to tell me, “Oh, honey, your sweet little breasts are never gonna be the same after a baby,” I know their perkiness is short-lived and likely painful.

But, by golly, I can’t wait to have bigger breasts. If even for a day.

My boobs started and stopped growing when I was in the sixth grade. Yep, that’s right. Started and stopped. I’ve been barely an A-cup for the past 22 years. When I lie down on my back and place my hands over my head, my boobs practically disappear completely. I bet you’re laughing, but this is serious business, folks! I have been barely an A-cup for 22 years!

Oh, but pregnancy. Pregnancy will change that. For at least a short amount of time, I can toss aside my padded bras, and know what it feels like to have cleavage that doesn’t come from tapped-together boobs (No joke, I did that for my senior prom in high school). I’ll even be able to wear lace-only bras from Victoria’s Secret!

I don’t care one ounce if my larger breasts are accompanied by tenderness so severe it’s downright painful. I don’t care if my nipples change color or shape. I don’t even care if they leak. Or if they become shriveled up prune-looking things after the baby. Actually, maybe I do care about that last one a wee bit. It’s just that I am so excited to finally have breasts that look like … well, breasts.

Sure, sure. Breasts come in all shapes and sizes; women should learn to love their bodies the way they are; the media degrades the female image so terribly that it’s next to impossible for any of us to feel good about ourselves. I know all these things. And I believe them too, which is why I refused countless offers for a paid-for boob job from an ex years back.

I’m not saying bigger breasts are better. Or that I’d ever artificially enhance mine. In fact, my little tatas have been good to me over the years, and contrary to how this post might sound, I actually love my little boobies. BUT, to know what it’s like just for a little bit to have just a little bit more on my chest, makes me a-lotta bit excited.

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Poem for Baby-to-Be
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Photo: TheChanel

Article Posted 6 years Ago

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