Every month on the 5th, I count how many months left to go before the baby. And after today, April 5th, there is less than a month (theoretically) until this baby makes his appearance. I think I need to say that again. Less than a month. Until I have a baby. I think I also need to say, oh my God.
I feel like something happened between weeks 28 and 36, in so far as they just kind of flew by. I feel like we completely skipped weeks 30 through 33, and somehow my baby went from the size of a butternut squash to a crenshaw melon. I don’t even know what a crenshaw melon is, but it sounds very, very large. And now, here I am, one month from a baby, and holy cow, things are about to get real.
Which is great since we pretty much could not be less ready for him.
I do not have a hospital bag packed, though I have bookmarked approximately 800 internet pages with suggestions of what it should include. In case you wondered there is a major debate about whether you should bring your own underwear or use the mesh ones that are provided. I’m not yet sure which side I fall on, but my current fear is that I don’t pack any and my hospital is the one hospital in the country that doesn’t provide them. And then the nurses will long tell stories about that one lady who didn’t bring any underwear.
We have not opened or attempted to install the car seat bases. In fact, the car seat and bases are in the garage in their boxes, mostly in an attempt to keep the cats out of it, but also because denial is SO PRETTY.
The nursery is seriously not finished. In fact, I think it’s getting progressively less finished. It’s being painted on Wednesday by my husband and FIL (I get to entertain my MIL all day…) and we will hopefully get our dresser next weekend. We have yet to figure out how the gigantic dresser is going to get all 72 inches of itself up our stairs and in the nursery, but thankfully I do not have to be involved in that process, except maybe for doing my best Ross from Friends impression and screaming “PIVOT” repeatedly at the poor souls moving the monstrosity.
We haven’t taken any childbirth classes, in fact, they begin tonight and run through the month. Why no, we didn’t wait until the very last minute, why do you ask?
While I know that intuition means very little when it comes to things like this, I feel like the chances of us making it all the way to our May 5th due date are pretty slim. I have no empirical evidence to support this, just a hunch and more contractions behind me than any person has ever experienced in a 2 month span. My step-mom has put her money on late April, and despite the laundry list of things that still need to be finished, I’m surprisingly on board with a late April birth too. And no, it has nothing to do with fears about pushing a small pumpkin out of my body.
While I feel totally unprepared for my impending motherhood, I’m also just so very excited. And as long as the baby is fully cooked and healthy, he can come right on out whenever he wants. Preferably quickly and painlessly.
What? A girl can dream.